December 19 -2000 - All the Rest

For the Advent season there will be a change on this section of the DM.
There will be a trivia question related to Christmas (not Biblically related)
The Christmas fact will appear on the Advent page - along with a Christmas Inspiration and a Christmas Quotation.


Christmas Trivia

In this section there will be a brief question about the secular side of Christmas. The answer will appear the following day.

TODAY'S QUESTION

What historic resort town in Virginia restricts its Christmas decorations to items that colonial people would have used?

Previous Question and Answer:

Question: If you see "putzes" while visiting Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, at Christmas, what are you seeing?

Answer: A type of Nativity scene; "putz" was the name used by the early Moravian Christian settlers.

Questions and answers from: J. Stephen Lang, The Big Book of American Trivia (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1997).


A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

Procrastinator's Creed :

I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.
If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.
I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.
I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it.

From: David A. Rinke II -- Funny Pages Mailing Lis

A man went to his office and bumped into one of his assistants.

He looked up and muttered, "My word! Look at you. You've lost weight. You've dyed your hair. You've replaced your glasses. You have even grown taller, Mike".

"Sir, my name is not Mike,"; replied the assistant.

"My Goodness! You have even changed your name!"

Speaker's Encyclopedia of Jokes, Puns, Riddles, Quotations & Alternate Dictionary

There was a tribe in Africa which was very fierce and warring...they would battle all the tribes in the area, and they always won. As a victory trophy, they would take the throne of the chief of the defeated tribe and carry it home, chanting victory chants and singing the whole way. When they got home, they would put the throne in the attic of the grass hut. This went on for quite some time, and soon the throne collection grew, adding to the prestige of the tribe.

One day, they battled a tribe of farily large people, some might call them giants. They won, and they struggled to get the throne home...but the chanting and joyesness prevailed as usual. When they got home, they had the ritual of putting the throne in the attic of the grass hut, but the weight was too much. The ceiling collapsed, killing everyone on the tribe.

The moral: People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones

Speaker's Encyclopedia of Jokes, Puns, Riddles, Quotations & Alternate Dictionary

TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

Merry Christmas

The Night Before Christmas
Computerese

'T	was the night before Christmas when all through the house, Not a peripheral was stirring, not even a mouse; The modem was hung by the keyboard with care
	In hopes that a download soon would be there The pirates were nestled all snug in their beds While visions of unprotects danced in their heads. And Kathleen in her kerchief, and I in my cap, Had just settled down for a long winter's nap When up on the hard drive there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter!
A	way to the monitor I flew like a flash Sat down at the keyboard, gave the spacebar a mash. The sight on the screen, a'flicker with snow,
	Gave the luster of power surge to the menu below. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but an autoexec.bat that seemed rather queer. With a little print driver so lively and quick I knew in a moment I had seen a new trick! More rapid than eagles my cursor it came; my voice box whistled, and shouted, and called me by name.
"N	ow format, now rename, now copy, and enter! On num lock, on caps lock, on scroll lock and printer! To the top of the page, to the top of the doc,
	now tab it and hold it and merge it and block." As utilities that build up the CPU speed Clash with just the programs I need So up to the screen top the cursor it flew With a RAM full of memory and an extension board too. And then, in a twinkling I heard on the speaker, The grinding of the hard drive growing much weaker.
A	s I tried to reboot and turn it around The attributes changed from blue into brown. I hit the control, the alt, the delete.
	The message it gave me, I cannot repeat. It asked me to ignore, retry or abort. It told me the parallel had become the comm port. Its lights how they twinkled; its pixels how merry. Its prompts were all scrambled, like a bowl full of cherries. It sounded just like it wanted to blow; the screen was suddenly white like the snow
I	t scrolled the directory before my very eyes With programs I did not even recognize. It wouldn't see D, It wouldn't see E.
	I couldn't get out of B into C. Norton's tried to read it; It finally found the FAT; But alas, the disk was faulty, and could not reformat. Away flew the DBase; Away flew the DOSes; Away flew the Wordstar; Right out with the Windows.
T	he spreadsheets were spreading; The footers were heading; What once had been memory
	Was close to forgetting. When the grinding was over And the smoke had all cleared, I looked at the unit And it was just as I'd feared. The 40 Meg wonder had crashed in the night. I'll never be able to block out that sight!
S	o tell everyone to avoid my plight.... Back up! Back up! Merry Christmas, and good night!

Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.

THE REST – December 19

Today's Quotations — Diets and Eating

Today's Word – GLORIA

Today's Fact