THE REST – December 26

Today's Quotations — Forgiveness

A true apology is more than just acknowledgement of a mistake. It is recognition that something you have said or done has damaged a relationship and that you care enough about the relationship to want it repaired and restored.

— Norman Vincent Peale

Write the wrongs that are done to you in sand, but write the good things that happen to you on a piece of marble. Let go of all emotions such as resentment and retaliation, which diminish you, and hold onto the the emotions, such as gratitude and joy, which increase you.

— Arabic Proverb

Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

— Anonymous

We pardon in the degree that we love.

— La Rochefoucauld

Humanity is never so beautiful as when praying for forgiveness, or else forgiving another.

— Jean Paul Richter

Today's Word – LUMINARIA

lu·mi·nar·i·a noun 1. Southwestern U.S. A votive candle set into a small, decorative paper bag weighted with sand and placed in a row with others along a walkway, driveway, or rooftop as a holiday decoration. Also called Regional: farolito. 2. New Mexico. A bonfire built in front of each house in a pueblo to celebrate Christmas Eve. [Spanish, from Latin lżminłriażminłria, pl. of lżminłre, lamp.]

Definitions from American Heritage Dictionary

Today's Fact

The Locust

If you can't beat'em — eat'um!

The order Orthoptera includes the grasshopper, katydids, crickets, cockroaches, mantids, and walkingsticks. The word orthoptera means: straight winged. The grasshoppers are divided into two groups based on the length of their antennae. The long-horned grasshoppers include the katydids. The short-horned grasshoppers include those grasshoppers known as locusts.

The locust has a large head, similar to that of a be or a hornet. They have two pairs of wings. The first pair is straight, flat and leathery; the second pair is thin, membranous and folded like a fan beneath the outer pair when not in use. Like all insects, the locust has 6 legs. The first two pair of legs are in proportion to the body of the locust. The third pair is much larger and has bulging muscular thighs. This third pair of legs are used for jumping and can carry the insect for many times more than their own length.

Locusts are found everywhere. Locust plagues are among the first events in recorded history. They have occurred on all continents except Antarctica. Thus far all control measures have been only partially successful.

The most destructive insect in the world is the desert locust. This short-horn grasshopper (Schistocera gregaria), is the locust of the Bible. Its habitat ranges from the dry and semi-arid regions of Africa and the Middle East, through Pakistan and northern India. This pest can eat its own weight in food each day. During long migratory flights a large swarm can consume 20,000 tons of grain and vegetation each day.

Locusts as food?

"His clothes were woven from camel hair, and he wore a leather belt; his food was locusts and wild honey."

Mark 1:6(NLT)

We are told that the food of John the Baptist included locusts. Did he really eat these destructive insects? The Orientals were accustomed to feeding upon locusts, either raw or roasted and seasoned with salt (or prepared in other ways), and the Israelites also were permitted to eat them. The law in Leviticus 11:22 gave the Israelites permission to eat these insects. We know that insects are a very good source of protein. Today many scientists suggest that insects be used as a food source. Their bodies could be dehydrated, crushed into a meal, and used to fortify breads. The nutritional value of the insects would exceed that of the meager crops that survive the ravages of insect pests. The cost and danger of pesticides on crops are prohibitive. The idea is "if you can't beat them - eat them."*

Although locusts were acceptable as food, perhaps they were not the regular food of John the Baptist. Locusts were rather seasonal. They generally appeared in Spring or early Summer. Since John had to eat daily, it is likely that his food was locust beans. These beans are carob pods. They are sweet and sticky. The prodigal son also ate locust pods. (Luke 15:16)

*Dr. Charles King

"And the locusts swarmed over the land of Egypt from border to border. It was the worst locust plague in Egyptian history, and there has never again been one like it. For the locusts covered the surface of the whole country, making the ground look black. They ate all the plants and all the fruit on the trees that had survived the hailstorm. Not one green thing remained, neither tree nor plant, throughout the land of Egypt."

Exodus 10:14 - 15 (NLT)

Merry Christmas

Christmas Quotation, Fact and Inspiration.

Today's SMILE


A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

TRUE AND HILARIOUS

NEWS HARARE, Zimbabwe (04-04) - After 20 mental patients disappeared from his bus, the driver replaced them with sane citizens and delivered them to a mental hospital.

The unidentified bus driver was transporting 20 mental patients from the capital city of Harare to Bulawayo Mental Hospital when he decided to stop for a few drinks at an illegal roadside liquor store. Upon his return he was shocked to discovered that all the mental patients have escaped. Desperate for a solution, the driver stopped at the next bus stop and offered free bus rides to several people. He then delivered them to the mental hospital and informing the staff they were easily excitable.

It took the medical personnel three days to uncover the foul play. The real mental patients are still at large.

Source: Gary Tooze

The Gift

Two alleged gentleman were talking and one said to the other, "You're having an anniversary soon, right?"

The other replied, "Yup, a big one... 20 years."

"Wow," said the other, "what are you going to get your wife for your anniversary?"

The other replied, "We're going on a trip to Australia."

"Wow, Australia, that's some gift!" said the other man. "That's going to be hard to beat.

What are you going to do for your 25th anniversary?"

"Go back and get her."

Actual quotes from Federal employee performance evaluations:

"Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

"I would not allow this employee to breed."

"This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."

"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

"This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

"She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
.

From: Gary Tooze

TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

Happy New Year

'Twas the Day after Christmas

Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house
Children sat slack-jawed, bored on the couch.

Wrappings and toys littered the floor,
An incredible mess that I did abhor.

With Mom in her robe and I in my jeans,
We waded in to get the place clean.

When suddenly the doorbell: it started to clatter,
I sprang to the Security-View to check out the matter.

The new-fallen snow, now blackened with soot,
Was trampled and icy and treacherous to foot.

But suddenly in view, did I gasp and pant:
An unhappy bill collector and eight tiny accountants.

The door flew open and in they came,
Stern-looking men with bills in my name.

On Discover, on Visa, on American Express,
On Mastercard too, I sadly confess,
Right to my limits, then beyond my net worth,
OUer the top I had charged, in a frenzy of mirth.

The black-suited men, so somber, so strict,
I wondered why me that they had first picked.

They stared at me with a look I couldn't miss,
That said "Buddy, when are you for paying for this?"

I shrugged my shoulders, but then I grew bolder,
Went to the cabinet and pulled out a folder.

"As you can see," I said with a smile,
"It's bankruptcy that I'll have to file!"
And with a swoop of my arm, my middle digit extended
I threw the bills in the fire: the matter had ended.

The scent of burnt ash came to my nose,
As up the chimney my credit-worthiness rose.

Without another word they turned and walked out,
Got into their limos, but one gave a shout:
"You may think that's the answer to all of your fears,
But it's nothing you'll charge for at least seven years!

By David Frank

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Daily Miscellany Comics

Have A Great Day

Phill Bower

Soul Food December 26

Today in History December 26

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Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.