Quotes!

If you know who said something and I don't, or if I have something wrong, let me know.

Why is there Brallie on drive-thru ATM's?

If you don't have a leg to stand on, it's best not to kick.

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.
--Proust

The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd.
The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen.
--Alan Ashley-Pitt

I'm going to live forever, or die trying!

Well cut me in half and call me a munchkin,
because ding-dong the witch is dead!

More fun than a catholic school girl without a gag reflex!

"If you live to the age of a hundred you have it made
because very few people die past the age of a hundred."
-George Burns

I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats.
I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
- Neil Armstrong

"Do not take life too seriously.
You'll never get out of it alive."
-Elbert Hubbard

"I just think it's rather odd that a nation that prides itself on its virility should feel compelled to strap on forty pounds of protective gear just in order to play rugby."
-Giles on American football

"Let me through. I'm a nosey person."
-Nanny Ogg

"The IQ of a mob is equal to the IQ of is most stupid member
divided by the number of mobsters."
-Terry Pratvhett

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
-Douglas Adams

There are times when the wolves are silent, and the Moon is howling.

"Let the learner direct his own learning."
-John Holt

"Life is fire at us point blank."
-Jose Ortegay Gasset

"It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself,
but the most inconvenient too."
-Henry W. Shaw

Some stories you can tell,
some, you spend the rest of your life pretending they never happened.
-Permanent Midnight

Fear is a spider in your room.
Anexity is a spider in your room, and you don't know where it is.
-Paranoia

"One timely cry of warning can save nine of susprise."
-Sidar Jabar

Unless we change directions, we are likely to end up where we are going.

I was born with all the knowledge I will ever need....
Now if I can only find that darn decoder ring !

Everyone has a photographic memory.
Some just don't have film.

A day without sunshine is, well, night.

"I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
-Emerson

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes,
why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

Path presupposes distance;
If he be near, thou needest no path at all.
Verily, it makes one smile
To hear of a fish in water needing a drink.
-Kabir

Is there another word for synonym?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

If I were going to burglarize a place that had guard dogs,
I'd do it during a thunderstorm and bring a vacuum cleaner.
-Gary Hintz

Engineers think that equations approximate the real world.
Scientists think that the real world approximates equations.
Mathematicians are unable to make the connection.

Reality is flowing.
This does not mean that everything moves, changes, becomes.
Science and common experience tell us that.
It means that movement, change, becomeing is everything that there is.
There is nothing else; everything is movement, is change.
The time that we ordinarily think about is not real time, but a picture of space.
-Henri-Louis Bergson

No one shows a child the sky.
-African Proverb

Everything is personal, if you are a person.

"I think that often when you are handed something, you miss the best part...getting it."
-Coyote Osborn

"I used to think the brain was the most wonderful organ in the body.
Then I realized who was telling me this."
-Emo Phillips

Normal is what cuts off your sixth finger and tail.

You've got to dance like nobody's watching,
and love like it's never going to hurt.

People say true friends must always hold hands,
but true friends don't need to hold hands
because they know the other hand will always be there.

The willow knows what the oak does not:
the power to endure harm out lives the power to inflict it.

"We always look upon our fisrt creation as masterpieces,
no matter how awful they are."
-Hanna

I tell you, there was so many arrows
flying about you couldn't hardly see the sun.
So I says to young Angus,
"Well, at least now we're fighting in the shade!"

"If you find yourself and a friend be chased by King Cheetah,
you have but one chance:
Trip your friend.
-Suq'Ata wisdom

For the first time in his life,
Grakk felt a little warm and fuzzy inside.

Helping people is mostly a matter of
teaching them to help themselves.

"You cannot get ahead while you are getting even."
-Dick Armey

It is not a sign of weakness to ask for guidance;
nor is it a crime to be uninformed,
but to choose the path of ignorance is unforgivable.

"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute
conversation with the average voter."
- Winston Churchill

The Truth is generally seen, rarely heard.
-Gracian

Is it because light travels faster than sound
that some people appear bright until they speak?

People say that everyone has a few skeletons in thier closet.
Not me.
Well, not yet anyway.
I mean, the bodies are still decomposing.

You need the Computing Power of a P5, 16 MB Ram and 1 GB Harddisk to run Win95.
It took the Computing Power of approx 3 Commodore 64 to fly to the moon.
Something is wrong here, and it wasn't the Apollo.

Thought about it.
Laughed about it.
Forgot about it.

Don't tell me I'm burning the candle at both ends,
tell me where to get more wax.

All religions pass, but this will remain:
simply sitting in a chair, and looking in the distance.
-V.V. Rozanov

Just get rid of the False, and you will automatically realize the true.
-Ho-Shan

A friend in need's a friend indeed,
a friend with mead is better...
a friend with breasts and all the rest
a friend whose dressed in leather...

I know the world is unfair,
but why can it never be in my favor?

I've never regreted doing extra work.

There is but one regret: Things left unsaid.

The great ma is he who does not lose his child's heart.
-Mencius

"Even parinoids have real enimies."
-Charles Xavier

"Eyes that can find smiles amid tears,
can laugh not just in spite of pain, but AT it...
these are eyes that truly see."

"A little trust goes a long way.
The less you use, the further you'll go."

"Always read the stuff that will make you look good
if you die in the middle of it."
-P.J. O'rourke

"Don't drive as if you own the road;
Drive as if you own the car."
-Sam Ewing

"When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.
Live your life in such a way that when you die,
the world cries and you rejoice."

Our wretched species is so made that those who walk on the well-trodden path
always throw stones at those who are showing a new road.
--Voltaire

Life and love are life and love, a bunch of violets is a bunch of violets,
and to drag in the idea of a point is to ruin everything.
Live and let live, love and let love, flower and fade,
and follow the natural curve, which flows on, pointless.
-D.H. Lawrence

"Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words."
-Calvin and Hobbes

"Trust the computer industry to shorten "Year 2000" to Y2K.
It was this kind of thinking that caused the problem in the first place."

People who have suffered usually make great friends,
since they tend to be less judgemental than others.

Going against your principles for even a moment
will most likely haunt you for the rest of your life.

"If your head tells you one thing, and your heart tell you another,
before you do anything, you should deside if you have a better head,
or a better heart."
-Marilyn vos Savant

"It's a good thing people don't see what I see;
it must make for contented lives ."
-Eli Khamorov

You should never shoot a bird in front of a window,
because you will miss the bird and hit the window.

Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast,
To soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak.
William Congreve -The Mourning Bride. Act i. Sc. 1.

"Of course, kick a man when he's down. It's the best time.
If you're not willing to kick him when he's down,
then don't kick him when he's up either."
--Solomon Short

"The intrepid spaceman Spiff is stranded on a distant planet!
...Our hero ruefully acknowledges that this happens fairly frequently...
-Calvin

"Good is not a 'thing'.
You can neither touch it, nor own it.
No, Good is a vision we all strive to make real."
-Asmira

"It is human nature to be in-humane."
-Dur Carak

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster
than any invention in human history
-- with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."
-Mitch Ratliffe

"A little rudeness and disrespect ca elevate a meaningless
interaction into a battle of wills and add drama
to an otherwise boring day."
-Calvin discovers Usenet

"Someone asked me what my star-sign was,
and I really confused them by my facetious responce:
'Pyrex: I was a test-tube baby.'"
-MegaDog

"It's fun to sharpen you claws on priceless and irreplaceable furiture."
-Socks, Americas First Cat

"I like to scare the Secret Service guys by
running up and down the halls for no apparent reason."
-Socks

"Nothing peps up a cabinet meeting more than a dead mole."
-Socks

"Sometimes I chase my tail.
It's a lot like trying to balence the budget."
-Socks

"If the world is at your feet,
beware the ankle-biters."
-Mab, DMFA

Est Sularus Oth Mithas
(My Honor is my Life)
-Solminic Oath

Carpe Jugularum
(Seize the throat)

Omnia mutantur, nihil interit
(Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost.

Mom.
I am scared.
Please turn off the lights.
-Sphere Gothic

Life is the whim of a few billion cells who desided to be you for a while.

"My own suspicion is that the universe is not only stranger than we suppose,
but stranger than we can suppose."
-JOHN HALDANE

"Pay attention to your eniemies,
for they are the first to discover your mistakes.
-Anthisthenes

"Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with
themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon."
-Suzan Ertz

"To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate has made me an authority myself."
-Albert Einstein

"Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams,
scoff at primitives who beat drums to scare away evil spirits."
-Vicky Robinson

We find comfort among those who agree with us--growth among those who don't.
--Frank A. Clark

"He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how."
-Nietzsche

"Some men are alive simpely because it's
against the law to kill them."
-Ed Howe

"Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses give,
Gas smells awful,
You might as well live..."
-Dorothy Parker

"If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to treat
everything as if it were a nail."
-A. Maslow

"A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been wrong,
which is but saying, in other words,
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday."
-J. Swift

"When chooseing between to evils, I always like to take the one I've never tried before."
-Mae West

"Fighting without an army is called a duel.
You'll lose a duel is your enemy comes expecting a war."
-Gerrard

Good leaders being scarce, following yourself is allowed.

If God had ment us to see pornography, we'd have been born naked! Oh, wait.....

It is only when one has the courage to be unique that one has the blessings of the gods,
for if a man is to climb to the heavens,
it shall be on a path only wide enough for one.

"To love someone unconditionally is not to care who they are or what they do!
Unconditional love comes out the same as indiffrence."
-Richard Bach

"There is no good and no evil. There is only what
makes us happy and what makes us unhappy."
-Richard Bach

Abashed the Devil stood and felt how awful Goodness was.

An apology for the devil:
it must be remembered that we have heard only one side of the case.
God has written all the books.
-Samuel Butler

"Do you think there's a God?"
"Well somebody's out to get me.'
-Hobbes and Calvin

If you're an athiest with a god complex, do you belive in yourself?

"The gods are too fond of a joke."
-Aristotle

"I just belive in one fewer (god) than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours."
-Stephen F. Roberts

"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic
is no more to the point than the fact
that a drunken man is happier than a sober one ."
-GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

If my neighbour believes in one god, a dozen, or none;
it is no concern of mine. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.
--Thomas Jefferson

"If there were only one religion in England, there would be danger of despotism,
if there were two, they would cut each other's throats,
but there are thirty, and they live in peace and happiness."
-Voltaire

I'm an atheist, thank God.

You're a Jehovah's witness? Why, what's he on trial for?

Even I can turn water into wine,
with sunshine and grape seeds.

The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it,
can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do.
--Galileo

"Better to reign in hell, than serve in heaven."
-Milton

"Do you belive in God?"
"No, but I sure am scared of him."
-Jill Snot & Alex Sandell

"I have seen God. In a flower, in a sunrise, I see a part of Him clearly.
It is when we look for the whole of Him that the lines blur.
I will be happy with a part."
-RAX

"As the private parts of the Gods are we!
They play with us for their sport!"
-Stephen Fry, "Black Adder"

"Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children."
-Eric Draven, The Crow.

"I don't wan't the cheese, I just want out of the trap."
-Spanish Proverb

If it goes without saying,
don't say it.

Imagination is intelligence having fun.

"The shortest distance between two points, is two points."
-RAX, on the 5th dimension

Illigitimati non Corborundum
(Don't let the bastards grind you down)

Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
(If you can read this, you're over educated)

Eschew Obfuscation
(Aviod makeing anything difficult to understand)

L'ESPIRIT D'ESCALIER
The Spirt of the Stairway
All the clever things to say that you only think up
and say only to yourself on the way out.

Curiosity. Cat. You know the rest.

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!"
"No, but I'd bite you with it."
-Get Fuzzy

"Some people make headlines while others make history."
-Philip Elmer-DeWitt

"To aquire knowlage, one must study;
but to aquire wisdom, one must observe."
-Marilyn vos Savant

"The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook."
-William James

No man chooses to become either a philosopher or a poet;
these callings choose the men for themselves.

"There are no happy endings,
because nothing ever ends."
-Peter S. Beagle The Last Unicorn

"Nothing is so precious as when it is lost."
-DurSul

"Par is whatever I say it is. I've got one hole that's a par 23,
and yesterday I damn near birdied the sucker."
-Willie Nelson

If a camel flies, no one laughs if it doesn't get very far.
-Paul White

Man is the higest form of life on Earth...according to Man.

A computer will always do what you tell it to do,
but seldom what you want it to do.

I've tried to have a better attitude, really!
And it usually works, right up to the time I open my mouth.

The diffrence between stupidity and intelligence is that intelligence has it's limits.

"Time is a relitive thing. An hour on one side of the door
is much diffrent on the other side."

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having
the ability to learn from the experiences of others,
are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
-Douglas Adams

"The new Irish flag would be orange and green, and would,
in the future, be know as the Irish Tricolor."
-Smith O'Brien, Irish Revolutionary

"The radical of one century is the conservative of the next.
The radical invents the views.
When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.
-Mark Twain

"He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression;
for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself ."
-Thomas Paine

"Truth is not determined by majority vote ."
-Doug Gwyn

"The best kind of fame is a writers fame.
Just enough to get a good table at a restaurant
and not enough for someone to interrupt you while you are eating."
-Fran Lebowitz

"I have a hammer!
I can put things together!
I can knock things apart!
I can alter my enviroment at will,
and make an incredible din all the while!
Ah, it's great to be male."
-Calvin

"I had a great idea this morning, but I didn't like it."
-Samuel Golding

"It's been swell, but, the swellings gone down."
-Tank Girl

"June is the month when a graduate goes out to set the world on fire.
July is when he starts to wonder if his matches are wet."
-Denzil Feinberg

"If sorry solved everything, who'd need the cops?"

"Smoking kills. If you are killed,
you've lost a very important part of your life."
-Brooke Shields

"May you get what you deserve."
-AthKno Blessing/Curse

"Pain is not healthy with prolonged use either.
I chose drugs."
-Uniquorne

"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."
-VOLTAIRE

"The mind is an infinate resource, but only if you don't squander it."
-"Rattus" in James P. Hogan's Voyage from Yesteryear

"A great many people think they are thinking
when they are merely rearranging their prejudices ."
-William James

"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know ."
-Ernest Hemingway

"Beware the voices outside you head."
-DurSul

Out of my mind. Back in 5.

" Mad; adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence;
not conforming to standards of thought, speech, and action
derived by the conformants from study of themselves;
at odds with the majority; in short, unusual.
It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad
by officials destitute of evidence that they themselves are sane."
-Ambrose Bierce

The only diffrence between me and a mad man is that I'm not mad.
-Salvador Dali

I no long judge a man insane if he has voices in his head,
rather, I find what those voices say.
-DurSul

Psychopathic killers, however, are not mad, according to accepted legal and psychiatric standards.
Their acts result not from a deranged mind but from a cold, calculating rationality
combined with a chilling inability to treat others as thinking, feeling human beings.
Such morally incomprehensible behavior,
exhibited by a seemingly normal person,
leaves us feeling bewildered and helpless.
-Dr. Robert D. Hare

"If to be mad, is to be out of your mind....why are the voices on the inside?"
-DurSul

"Many people would rather die than think; in fact, most do."
-Bertrand Russell

"To think is to differ ."
-Clarence Darrow

"It's easy to make a buck. It's a lot tougher to make a difference ."
-Tom Brokaw

"Money don't buy happiness.
But you can rent it for a while."
-BloodEye

"Miracales are not hard to find, but those who belive them are."
-RAX

"The past must die for the future to live."
-RAX

"Not all questions have answers,
but all answers have questions."
-RAX

"What do nightmares dream of?"
-RAX

"Life is what you spend time doing before you die."
-Dur Carak

"He died of natural causes.
Naturally, one dies with a dagger in ones heart."
-Dur Carak

"If all the world is but a stage, and all the people mearly players,
where the hell is my script!!"
-DCU1

"Let us Prey."
-Ian Redman

Love at first sight saves a lot of time.

"To sit in Zen, fix your mind on one though for ten thousand years."
-Shih-Shuang

"There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
-Leonard Cohen

"Existance is no more than a flaw in the perfection of non-existance."
-Paul Valery

Wisdom tells me I am nothing.
Love tells me I am everything.
Between the two, my life flows.

"May you live all the days of your life."
-Johnathan Swift

"The best mind-altering drug is Truth."
-Lily Tomlin

"One has to live, Doctor."
"Yes, people do seem to regard it as a necessity."
-A Doll's House

"Being normal is not nessacerally a virtue.
It simply denotes a lack of courage."
-Practical Magic

The beast within hunts without.

"To walk on two legs is very hard.
Perhaps four is better anyway."
-Speaker of the Law, "Island of Dr. Marou"

"Ya know sometimes, when I'm saying something,
and it's really important, I can't look at the person
that I'm talking to, and I just think it really great
that you can't do that either."
-Niagara, Niagara

The views expressed herein are strictly my own
or those of the voices in my head.

"I'm a firm beliver in a ruleing class.
Espically since I rule.'
-Randal, Clerks

"This job would be great if it weren't for the customers."
-Randal

"You hate people!"
"But I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic?"
-Dante & Randal

"I know I promised Lord, never again.
But I also know, that you know, what a weak willed person I am."

-Mouse Ladyhawke

"Sir, the truth is, I talk to God all the time,
And no offence, but he never mentioned you."
-Mouse

"I fully expect to meet you at the pearly gates little theif,
don't you dare disappoint me."
"I'll be there father. Even if I have to pick the lock."

"Baby, we the LAPD, the most hated people in the free world.
My own momma ashamed of me. She tell everybody I a drug dealer."
-James Carter, "Rush Hour"

"You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you."
"You seem a decent fellow, I hate to die."
-Princess Bride

"...skill against skill alone."
"You mean, you'll put down your rock,
and I'll put down my sword, and we'll
try to kill each other like civilized people?"
-Fezzic & "The Dread Pirate Roberts"

"Why do you wear a mask?
Were you burned with acid or something like that?"
"Oh no. It's just that they're terribly comfortable.
I think everyone will be wearing them in the future."
-Fezzic & "The Dread Pirate Roberts"

"Life is Pain highness.
Anyone who says diffrent is selling something.
-"The Dread Pirate Roberts"

"We'll never survive!"
"Nonsence! You're only saying that because no one ever has."
-Buttercup & Wesly

"Give us the gate key."
"I have no gate key."
"Fezzic, tear his arms off."
"Oh, you mean this gate key!"
-Inigo Montoia

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoia,
you killed my father, prepare to die.