Control

        "Say the word control and you will see or feel immediate reactions. It is one of those 'buttons' that cause emotional reactions. Does one like to be controlled? Of course not, though it would seem in many cases, that this seems to be the case. We're talking here of unequal balance in relationships where one is dominant or dominating of another.

        To think of self is to think of immediate needs or long range plans. To center on self is a needed action. However, at some point in one's development, that search of self must be turned outward toward the search for others. This may seem a strange saying. Why would a search for others be necessary? It is a balancing, a complimenting, a counterpoint of personalities. It is a needed part of self development. Yet this interaction is too often broken or never started because of the control that some want to exert over others. This control can be a fearful thing. It can cause a spirit to deviate from the path of choice to one which is perhaps an easier path. Easier in the sense that there is less and less choice until one truly is like an animal in a halter.

        Control gives a sense of power, a sense of safety, of boundaries drawn and limits accepted. And within those boundaries one can play the role of commander, king, queen, or ruler or any of the many labels that indicate a position of authority.

        Control of self is much more difficult than the use of control over another. Knowing one's weaknesses and strengths and habits is like delving into an encyclopedia and wandering from subject to subject or habit to habit or pattern to pattern. As with anything, it can be overdone. We have the rigid, stiff type of individual who lives an entire life tightly bound by lines of restraint and limit that he or she draws.

        At the other end of the spectrum, we have the individual who has no control. Excesses abound and grow. This can be a spiraling downward path of oblivion or a life wasted. It might seem that some who are out of control are leading the 'good life'. Their flaunting of lack of control is sometimes taken as a sense of freedom. And within this so called freedom, the limits are released or so it appears. Too late, it is realized that instead of freedom, there is a hooked restricted reality being created.

        So how does one know how much control can be used? What is comfortable? Is it the same for all? Obviously not. As children, some need more control and some need very little. This tendency can lead into lifetime patterns.

        Control should be a changing constructed area. Control should be observed as to its reactions. Is there a positive reaction or a negative one? Control is an ingredient that should be added to one's life..... but carefully balanced.

        Use control as you would use a stick. Use it carefully. Keep it within range. Do not extend it beyond the measurement of what is needed.

        Never extend control over another's choices. Respect and be aware of the need for individuals to express themselves."