Solace

        "To stand in the middle of troubled times is to sometimes feel as if you are in the middle of a dust storm. It's irritating and annoying and sometimes painful as well as most distractful. The heightened repetition of problems can be a long, troubling journey. Many feel as if they cannot make it, as if they cannot cope because of the overwhelming nature of the obstacles and challenges they meet. It is at such times that some must be there to offer solace. It appears that this is more common in some areas, perhaps it is the smaller communities and yet it still exists in the cities. The reason is that it depends on the individual and one person can make a difference.

        The burden of cares is sometimes carried as almost a daily backpack. We are aware of it and we know what is in it and so we accept the load. However, just when we think we have managed the stresses and strains of whatever load we are carrying, something can come along and we become overloaded. It is at these times that we see people brought to their knees, meaning they do not have the strength to go on and seem to buckle under the strain. It is then that there should be someone who can console and comfort, who can give the 'medicine' of solace - of one person caring about another. Sometimes the smallest action or word can make a difference. Too often we see people who stand back and say and do nothing. This is not to say that they do not care, but for various reasons, they restrain themselves or limit themselves so as not to get involved. At some point in our lives we all need solace of one type or another. It just may be an encouraging word, or a pat on the back, or a smile. It may be sharing one's company or that valuable solace aide - listening. It may be uncomfortable to hear another person's pain and hurt, it may even be embarrassing, it may bring out a feeling of not knowing what to say or do. This does not matter and should not cause one to refrain from offering help. Solace is comfort, and we all need that at some time. It is a skill that some have that flows without effort, but for those who do not feel that skill, the lack of it should not cause the expression not to be offered.

        During hard times we need to take turns. The comforter may become the one who needs the comfort or solace. We have our highs and lows and when we have the strength, we can be the giver, but that does not mean there are not times when we can be on the receiving end. It does not indicate that strength is gone, certainly not, just that there are high and low ebbs of feelings and emotions and we can be both sender and receiver.

        Let your heart listen when someone is unburdening. Speech is not so much important as the use of the ears. Let the other person feel that you are patient. Do not feel that a solution should be reached quickly. Let the other person set the pace. Be comforting and be peaceful. Do not hurry one's expression of pain, but send calmness. Speak words of understanding and encouragement. When the pain is too deep for words, then simply be, just be there for the person. As you practice being a solace giver, you will find that it is easier to share warmth that will ease the pain. Look for opportunities to share."