Carol's Comments
 
Reading through the Daily Mirror often provides some real gems. I found this article on a page by Carol Vorderman, entitled carol@mirror.co.uk. Enjoy.
 
Phrases you wish you could use at work:
  • Ahhh....I see the cock-up fairy has visited us again.
  • I don't know what your problem is, but I bet its hard to pronounce.
  • How about never? Is never good for you?
  • I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
  • I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
  • I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
  • I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
  • I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
  • It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
  • I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
  • I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.
  • I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
  • Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
  • Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincedental.
  • I'm not being rude. It's just that you're insignificant.
  • What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
  • It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
  • You sound reasonable...  Time to up the medication.
  • Who me? I just wander from room to room.
  • This isn't an office. It's Hell with flourescent lighting.
  • I started out with nothing and still have most left.
  • Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
  • Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
  • Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
  • How do I set a laser printer to stun?
  • If I throw a stick, will you leave?
  • Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.



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