And there's More . . .
 

A New You . . . from A to Z

Attitude : A positive mental attitude can lift you above stress, enhance your performance and alter your personal relationships for the better. Don't allow yourself thoughts like "I'm stuck with the way I am." You won't be able to meet challenges with that negative voice saying you can't. For positive results, turn it around and say "I can change my life." Beat the Blues : It's natural to feel blue occasionally. But keeping it within a healthy limit is vital, so it doesn'r spiral into depression. Symptoms include appetite loss or increase, lethargy, loss of zest for life and tearfulness. But remember, there are always ways to cope with and solve problems. Don't hide them from friends and family. Spoil yourself occasionally and see your GP if you can't shake these feelings. Clever Clogs : Maintaining an active mind has been proven in psychological research to keep you alert. Those with active brains are less likely to experience senility later in life. Start today by doing a crossword, a puzzle or reading something interesting. Determination : Sadly, some scoff at those who show determination, but then envy those who get somewhere. Make a list of two or three things you'd like to do with your life. Then make a second list of what you'll need – like training or a college course – to achieve it. Excitement : People have to break out of the mould now and then to create some excitement. Plan two completely different things to try within the next year. For example, you could try hot-air ballooning and salsa dancing. Both claimed to be great fun. Find the Funny Side : Put your troubles in perspective by seeing the humour in things. If your teenager's getting you down, think of Harry Enfield's Kevin, smile and try to deal with them calmly. Is your partner being a pain? Picture them losing their trousers in a crowded shop. The world isn't about to fall apart, but you will if you don't allow humour to defuse stress. Go for Your Goals : Everyone should have daily goals. These can be simple things like taking some exercise or learning not to panic. Recite your daily goal to yourself each morning – it could be as easy as remembering to hog your children and telling your partner you love them. Haven in You Home : We all need to get away from daily stresses of work and life. Ensure that when you get home it feels like a haven. For example, if you can't get all the washing done, simply have a cupboard to stash it in. Out of sight – out of mind! Burn some relaxing aromatherapy oils or candles. The calming scents will help create your peaceful place. Increase Intimacy : Nothing will enrich your life more than increasing the depth of intimacy in your closest personal relationships. These are the ones we take for granted. Don't feel silly sharing your hopes and dreams. Joy : Reasearch shows that one trait of happy people is to find the little joys in life and treasure them. Truly happy people don't worry about increasing their material wealth beyond a certain point. Instead they notice pretty sunsets, beautiful flowers and laughing children in the park. Kick a Bad Habit : Choose one habit to break. Set targets and be practical. For drinking or smoking, get help from your GP or dedicated phonelines. Take one day at a time and let the people around you know you need support. (See 'Habit Busting' below.) Love Yourself : This isn't New Age mumbo-jumbo. Learning to give love starts with yourself. Because if you don't love yourself and are filled with hurt or anxiety, you can't give real love to others. If there is pain or anger, maybe over a long-held childhood issues, you need to let go of them and move on with your life. Manage your Time : A common complaint in modern life ia a lack of time. Poor time management means a lack of contact with friends and family, often leading to stress and depression. So, give up activities you have no interest in and learn to say no. Allow five extra minutes for every task – this takes the rush out of things. Prepare a week planner to help accomplish everyday chores easily. Nurture Others : It's rewarding to spot a spark in others and then nurture it. We spend so much time thinking about ourselves and are often so envious of others that we can't see how bringing out the talents of others can free us and bring happiness. See the Obvious : Sometimes solutions to issues are staring us in the face but we refuse to look because we get so set in a routine. At home, do you always argue over the same things? Compromise and communication could solve these problems. Pamper Yourself : Make this a regular habit for this year. Go for a new hairstyle and have fun trying on wigs to see what suits you best. Invest in one of those heavenly foot massagers and sit and enjoy the bubbling water tickling your toes. Go to beauty counters for free make-overs or splash out on a full professional treatment. Quiet Meditation : Aim for a few momenys of pure peace and tranquillity every day. Sometimes simple meditation will solve your tension and anxiety. Make sure you're warm and comfy. Lie back, perhaps with a few drops of soothing lavender oil on your pillow, and think of a calming scene that brings you inner happiness. Ready for Anything : Those who embrace change with a flexible attitude are generally more confident than those that don't. This is because, when the unexpected happens, they can deal with it easily. Routine gives a false sense of security. If your routine is thrown by an event, think of options to meet the change. Stay Sexy : Sex releases feel-good hormones, but with stresses and strains we can let our sex lives slip. Keep it lively with surprises. Describe a fantasy to your partner and ask about theirs. Take a weekend away or unplug the phone at home to caress and indulge each other. If you're single, try 'flying solo' to keep your sensuality alive. Toxic Relationships : Ever felt that seeing a particular person – whether lover, friend or relation – always makes you feel worse about yourself or stressed? Ask them to change their toxic behaviour or move on and let them get on with it. It's hard to face but it's a lesson for life. Unforgettable : Everyone should have a trademark they make their own. You may have a fantastic, funny party piece that makes your friends laugh, be the sexy dancer who gets people moving at parties or bake delicious cakes that everyone raves about. Choose something you can do really well, learn to do it even better and become unforgettable to all who know you. Get Vocal : People always complain that they can't voice what's on their mind. We worry about rocking the boat, then little things build up into major problems. Learn to say what you think early on. Soon you'll speak your mind calmly when troubled and be more likely to get your point across. Put youself in the other person's shoes and try to throw something positive into the conversation too. Why Not? : It's challenging to the human spirit to break out and try something new. When someone offers you the chance to do something different, ask yourself "why not?" Too many say "why bother?" – not realising they'll miss out on life with this attitude. X-tra Special : Ensure your loved ones feel wanted and important when they are around you. Give and ask for lots of affection and cuddles. It doesn't cost anything at all. Young at Heart : The old adage that you're as old as you feel is absolutely true. Many people have an old outlook that makes them miserable. Play some of your favourite old music to recapture a youthful feeling or do something childish like playing on a slide or swing! Zero Envy or Jealousy : Just about all psychologists have seen, first hand, how destructive the emotions of envy and jealousy can be. If you feel yourself envying someone, stop and look at your life. Focus on the things you have and be thankful. The same goes for jealousy. It breaks up relationships – so love your partner and give them the space.

 
And Even More . . .
 

HABIT BUSTING. . . The way to success.

We all have habits we'd like to break . . . If you've tried with New Year resolutions for giving up smoking etc, the average New Year's resolution lasts just days. But with the following 10 point guide, you'll stick to it and succeed.

Know your enemy. You weren't born with this bad habit, it's something you have learned. You may even have struggled to like it. How many people enjoy their first cigarette? Or perhaps a habit is roffed in childhood – you were given a sweet when you fell over, so sweets equal comfort. But just as you learned this habit, you can unlearn it.The three key words are – CAN – you can control it. WILL – you will control it. NOW – you are going to start roght now. Imagine yourself there. Think about the person you will be when you kick your bad habit. Think about someone offering you a cigarette and how it would feel to say "I don't smoke." Imagine what your long, polished nails will look like. Picture the slimmer, fitter, happier you. Run it all through in your mind. Not just once – keep doing it. Work out why you want to change this habit. The long-term goal may be to be fitter, healthier, look better. But there's a short-term goal too. You want to feel better about yourself right now. You don't want to feel guilty and hate yourself. When you fail, you forget about the long-term goals – you don't give up wanting to be slimmer. You just want to feel better now, so you persuade yourself that "just this once" won't matter. Just this box of chocolates, just this cigarette. Learn to focus on the long-term, not the short-term. Get motivated. Practise changes – cross your legs differently, swap sides of the bed with your partner. It's unfamiliar, but not impossible. Think of a future when everything you value in life has been affected by your bad habit. Remind yourself this need not happen. Then imagine a future without your habit. Think how wonderful that will be. Breathe deeply and say this is how it is going to be. Start fresh. Don't think "I've tried it before and it didn't work." That was then, this is now. Nothing you do now needs to be influenced by past failures. When you are feeling weak and at a low ebb, think about somebody strong who you really admire. Ask yourself what they would do. Believe in yourself. Doctors know that for some medical conditions, 90 per cent of all patients recover after taking dummy pills. It's called the placebo effect and proves how we feel is tuned to how we believe we feel. Sports coaches know that the difference between good players and brilliant playersis not ability – it's self-belief. Some of them go on to the pitch believing they will play exceptionally and win, so they do. If you think that breaking your bad habit is going to be difficult, it will be. If you bellieve you can kick it, you will.     Imagine yourself watching a film about your own life. Think of all the times you have persevered with something difficult, for instance learning to drive, or studying for exams, or coping with sick children.     Realise that you are a very capable person. Imagine what a film critic would write about this film of your life – "She perseveres, no matter what," or, "He is determined and focussed on what he wants." Repeat thisout loud several times. It's ok to make mistakes. When you learned to ride a bike, you probably fell off a few times. When you learned to drive, you no doubt stalled a few times too. But you didn't give up. You made a mistake and mistakes are allowed. If you do give in to your habit, think of it as being like falling off the bike and climb back on. Knock-backs will happen. It is how you deal with them that counts. The best way is to laugh at them. Laughter releases serotonin, the chemical in the brain that makes us feel good. You can't hold on to depressing or self-defeating thoughts when your mouth is smiling. Get off automatic pilot. Do you always reach for a cigarette when you phone a friend or chew your fingernails in the cinema? To change a habit, change you routines. Then find other things to do to plug the hole when you cut down on the cigarettes or booze, or worrying too much. How would you feel if you saw someone on TV with your habit? What would you tell them? Now give yourself the same advice. Give yourself strength. Think of times in your life when you were feeling really confident and strong. Imagine these times in a circle in front of you. Step into it and feel all the confidence and strength flooding through you. Now, imagine making the circle small enough to fit round your wrist, like a bracelet. Then every time you feel yourself giving in to temptation, give your imaginary bracelet a squeeze, and feel tat strength returning to you.     Write postcards about your resolution and send them to people who nean a lot to you. If you don't kick the habit now, you'll be embarrassed in front of them. Don't spend your life trying to make things right for other people. Your happiness is important too. Write down what you would like to have done by the time you are 90. Then act on it. Putting things off just means there'll be more to regret later.

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