Stupid things People do or Say!
Page 1.

A Clumsy hunter who shot himself in the leg, fired his rifle to attract help in the wilds of Arizona - and the bullet ricocheted into his OTHER leg.

A Bungling boxer got psyched up for a boxing match by smacking himself in the face. But the bout, in New York, had to be called off when he broke his OWN nose.

ART students who advertised for a nude model got just one reply - from a 31-year old pervert freed after a two-month jail term for flashing at girls at the same college in Houston, Texas.

A burglar who stole 40 CD's from a foreign student's flat in Crookes, Sheffield, picked the Wong target - they were all of Chinese music.

A husband and wife, dog lovers, in Plymouth, Devon, have bought a bigger bed so that their 21 pets can share it.

A quiz was ruined for pensioners in Canterbury, Kent, when a printers foul-up left them trying to answer questions like 'Who is Primal Scream's lead singer?'

Nine out of Ten Brits think the Millenium Dome is a waste of cash. About 10,000 called a GMTV phone-in yesterday (Monday 2^nd February 1998), but only 1,000 said the £758,000,000 was well spent.

A burglar, 20, broke into an office and dozed off - and was trapped when new locks were fitted as he slept, in Groningen, Holland.

Pet Alsatian Brad, got a new metal kennel after chewing up two wooden ones and gnawing his owners garden shed as well, in Cuckfield, Sussex.

Machete wielding villagers chopped off their pastor's hand when they caught him cheating on his wife with his mistress, in Virembe, Kenya.

STRIPPED CLEAN: - Bored housewives are paying £65 an hour for nude male cleaners in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.

Police searched all night for a woman, 83, missing from an old-folks home in Cosenza, Italy and found her next day in bed with a man across the hall.

A blonde bungled her L-test by driving her Buick through a test-centre window in Denver, Colorado.

Women's groups are furious after Aussie camel race organisers advertised for 'Stunning Sheilas' to be jockeys.

Meat puddings dished up with veg and gravy at a football (soccer) club in Folkestone, Kent, turned out to be APPLE pies due to a baker's mix-up.

A 48-year-old woman decorated her chicken hut with glossy holiday brochures to try to cheer 14 hens who won't lay at Tiverton, Devon.
Might be better to find them a cockerel! Axiompc

A computer fan had a romance on the Internet. When he fixed to meet his love in Sydney, Australia, she turned out to be the woman he'd divorced eight years ago.

A rich 73-year-old in Panama cut all his relatives out of his will and left his £3 million fortune to his pet snake, a boa constrictor called Congo. His stunned family plan to sue.

An unlucky couple moved from Great Yarmouth, Norfolk after 22 years of running a B&B - then won a week-end back at the resort.

Soccer bosses are giving fans umbrellas to protect them from droppings of scores of pigeons and gulls in the stand at Fareham Town, Hants.

Police had to cancel an ID parade with ginger-haired Chris Evans lookalikes when only three turned up after a newspaper ad in Carlisle.

A court witness had to tell the truth when a lawyer asked if she was sexually active. "No, I just lie there," she replied in Chicago Illinois.

Dozy vandals who daubed graffiti at Conisbrough Castle, South Yorks, left police a vital clue....their signatures. They returned to erase the names but the evidence had been photographed.

Police probing strange groans in the woods at Colchester, Essex, found a couple having sex - a couple of hedgehogs, that is.

A Pet shop burglar left a trail of bird seed back to a flat where he kept four stolen exotic birds and 12 hamsters. Cops followed the trail in Wembley, London - but the thief had flown.

A bank robber was trapped by his stutter when cashiers in Paris, France, made him stand there trying to speak his demands until police arrived.

Phone sales staff at Bradford-based Grattans are being urged not to disguise their Yorkshire accent - because it sounds so friendly. (That's if you can understand it in the first place. Axiompc)

A suspicious busker alerted cops after a woman gave him £216 and refused to accept it even after finding it WAS genuine in Lubeck, Germany.

Here's stupidity close to home. A near neighbour of mine, I'll call him Paul, commited armed robbery at a bank opposite the end of the road we both live in. To escape the police giving chase, he ran straight home! Needless to say he was caught immediately.

A Mum and her two four-year-old sons had to be rescued from a house blaze in Basingstoke, Hants, which started when a cooker ignited a toy FIRE ENGINE.