HUMOR Digest - 4 Feb 1997 to 5 Feb 1997

Date: Tue, 4 Feb 1997 02:27:54 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Moore Misc Jokes

After the lavish wedding reception, the newlyweds retired to their Honeymoon Suite. The groom turned down the lights & found some nice CDs to stack on the player. Then he excused himself, returning in pajamas and robe. He opened a bottle of champagne and poured them each a drink, unaware that his new bride had already had more than enuff to drink.

Finally, he took the girl of his dreams, whom he had wed after a record whirl-wind courtship, by the hand & tenderly began to lead her towards the bedroom.

"Damn !" she muttered, "every stinking time I go out with a guy it always ends up the same way."

Just heard about a guy on the Net who's terribly indiscreet, yet so rich, he really doesn't give a damn. I understand that he starts out each of his torrid e-mail letters to his sweethearts with "My Darling, and Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury..."

I swear, I just gotta keep my mind on where I am, and what I'm doing. I came home the other nite, after a long, hectic day at work. I was sitting in the easy chair having a stiff drink and just beginning to unwind, unfinished office work still on my mind. My wife called from the top of stairs that she had seen the prettiest lil' dress today for only $450, and was it OK if she bought it.

Half thinking, I replied, "Well, alrite I guess, but let's finish this dictation first."

These days so many truly beautiful women are spoiling their natural attractiveness by using all those damn four letter words: like -- "nope", "don't", "stop", "quit", "can't" and "won't".

"Darling," she whispered after they had finished making love, "Will you still make love like that to me after we're married ?"

He considered this for a moment, and then replied, "I think so. I've always been especially fond of married women."

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