HUMOR Digest - 15 Apr 1997 to 16 Apr 1997

Date: Tue, 15 Apr 1997 04:14:08 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Animal Kingdom

The young lady strolled thru the National Zoo and finally paused in front of the monkey island. Mystified as to the whereabouts of the animals, she queried the keeper, "Where are all of the monkeys ?"

"They're all back in the cave Miss." he responded, "It's right in the midst of the mating season."

"I see." she replied, "Do you think they'd come out if I offered them some of these peanuts ?"

Smiling the keeper responding, "Well, I can't rightly say as I know Miss. Would you ?"

The visiting American was quite upset by his sudden drop in popularity. During his first week in England he had been invited almost everywhere, feted and entertained. Now, for reasons unknown, his phone had fallen silent and no invitations appeared in the mail.

Perplexed, he called his friend Sir Reginald. "Reggie old boy, you can speak frankly with me," said the man, "What's happened ? I'm being virtually ostracized."

"Well, old chap," Reggie replied, "think back to the Royal Fox Hunt last week. I'm afraid it's customary to cry 'Tally ho ! Your Majesty' when you sight the fox -- not, I'm afraid, "There goes the dirty little son-of-a-bitch toots!'"

Consider if you will the Laughing Hyena.
They eat only once a day,
move their bowels about once a month
and mate only once per year.

I mean what the hell do these animals have to laugh about anyway ?

Ever wonder how porcupines make love ???

Carefully -- very, very carefully !!!

I don't doubt for a minute that you can catch more flies with sugar or honey than ya can with vinegar.

But... who in the hell wants a lot of flies anyway ?

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