HUMOR Digest - 19 May 1997 to 20 May 1997

Date: Mon, 19 May 1997 02:49:51 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Moore on Yuppies

The Yuppie couple was having dinner in a posh restaurant in (where else ?) Columbia Maryland. He seemed preoccupied and the Yuppette told him so. He replied, "I'm sorry darling, I have to make a clean breast of something. Could you possible love a man who swindled his partner out of 3 million dollars ?"

"Perhaps," said the Yuppette, "provided the man doesn't chicken out and make restitution."

The counselor at the Columbia "magnet" school called a boy into his office before school started. "Raymond, I have some good news and some bad news to relate to you this morning. We've just reviewed all of your personality tests and I'm afraid you have definite homosexual tendencies...

And now the good news -- I think you're cute as hell."

The young Yuppie couple sat glumly in the marriage counselor's office exchanging contemptuous glances. "Why don't you begin ?" the counselor said turning to the husband. "What seems to be the problem ?"

"I don't have any complaints," the man responded, "but lil' Miz what's-her-face here seems to think I don't pay any attention to her."

The Yuppie came home sporting a pair of $275 shoes. He had been anticipating admiring comments from his wife, but she didn't appear to even notice. Somewhat piqued, he waited until it was bedtime and came out of the bathroom wearing only the fancy footwear.

"It's about time you paid some attention to what my penis is pointing at." he said.

Looking down at the splendiferous shoes, the Yuppette shrugged and muttered, "Too bad you didn't buy a hat instead."

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