HUMOR Digest - 3 Jun 1997 to 4 Jun 1997

Date: Tue, 3 Jun 1997 05:23:31 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Income Taxes

While income tax time is over, that doesn't stop the stories from abounding. At the Internal Revenue Service building in Baltimore a sign on the door advises visitors to "Watch Your Step."

As you exit through the same door, another sign sez "Watch Your Language."

An irate taxpayer demanded to know exactly how he had been selected to be audited.

"Yours was a rather easy choice." explained the examiner, "Your return blew three chips in our computer."

A caller to the information line wanted to know if birth control pills were deductible.

The IRS employee said, "Only if they don't work."

I remember in college, my Economics Professor had no problem at all admitting that he had trouble with both tax forms and the instructions.

"I think instead of a mathematician, you have to be a philosopher."

The auditor had requested the 67 year old woman to appear because she claimed seven dependents. He noted last year, she had claimed only two.

"It's quite simple." explained the matron. "The cat had kittens."

The auditor explained that while kittens may indeed be expensive, they cannot be claimed as dependents.

"Why surely you must be mistaken young man." she replied. "I've been claiming their parents for a good number of years now.

When I finish filling out the tax forms, my wife checks them. One year, just to be funny, I filled out a fake one where I itemized all of her visits to the beauty shop and the hairdresser as a "loss".

She failed to see the humor in that at all.

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