HUMOR Digest - 7 Jun 1997 to 8 Jun 1997

Date: Sat, 7 Jun 1997 04:04:16 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Sex, some variety

A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom's annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love-making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't quit it.

The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn't close a large suitcase. The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work. Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try." Still no success. Then he said, "Look. Let's both get on top and try."

At that point the parrot yanked away the towel and said, "Zoo or no zoo. This... I gotta see !!!"

The middle aged woman sought help from her doctor. "All my husband does is complain that I never want to have sex with him." she said "And he's right too. I have no desire at all."

The doctor gave her a prescription and told her to return for a visit in two weeks. After the two weeks were up, she bounced smiling into his office. "Those pills were great Doc, I'm doin' it twice a nite now."

"That's wonderful." said the doctor, "What does you husband say now ?"

"How should I know ?" she replied. "I ain't been home yet."

As luck would have it, during a raging blizzard in North Dakota, the young couple had a flat tire. The boyfriend returned to the vehicle in just a few minutes, saying his hands were freezing trying to change it.

The girl said, "Here, I'll warm them." and placed them between her thighs. This went on several more times until the tire was changed.

When he got into the car the last time, she looked over at him and said, "Sweetheart, aren't your ears cold too ?"

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