HUMOR Digest - 10 Jun 1997 to 11 Jun 1997

Date: Tue, 10 Jun 1997 04:30:13 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Faith and Religion

Sometimes the written word is so much safer. The Minister told the Secretary to change the sign for his upcoming sermon to "Are Ministers Cracking Up ?"

Although puzzled, within a few minutes the large sign in front of the church announced for all the world to see to come in next Sunday and hear "Our Minister's Cracking Up."

I know how hard it is to raise funds for almost anything these days. A member of our Church contacted me and said they were having a benefit on June 28. I said I was sorry that we'd be unable to make it due to a prior commitment, but I would be there "in spirit" with them.

Undaunted, he cheerfully replied, "Great ! I have $10, $15 and $20 tickets. Where would you like your 'spirit' to sit ?"

Our minister once illustrated a point in his sermon by saying that we have to know where best to plant our seeds. For example, he went on, a rose needs sunlight, but fuchsias need a shady nook to flourish.

On the way out this one woman couldn't stop complimenting the Pastor on his wisdom. Finally she said, "All these years, I've been unable to determine what was the matter with my fuchsias."

I saw a rather clever fund-raising appeal in front of one church not long ago: "You Can't Take it With Ya -- So Send it On Ahead !"

A Minister from North Dakota had died and was being introduced around Heaven. His favorite topic of conversation was the faith required to shepherd his little flock thru the floods this past year.

He was telling one scholarly looking gentleman that they really ought to get together some time so he could explain how difficult his last months on earth were.

"Yes, I would enjoy that." replied the man. "Permit me to introduce myself, I'm known as Noah."

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