HUMOR Digest - 11 Jun 1997 to 12 Jun 1997

Date: Wed, 11 Jun 1997 03:22:15 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Justice

After a lengthy conference with the estranged husband, the lawyer reported to his client. "Mrs. LaMay, I have succeeded in making a settlement with your husband that is eminently fair to both of you."

"Fair to both ?!?!?!" exploded Mrs. LaMay. "I could have done that myself. What the hell do you think I hired a lawyer for ?"

A Kentucky man sued his 14-year-old wife for divorce on the grounds that she acted immature.

A divorced Father was somewhat concerned about his son whom his ex-wife had custody of after a bitter divorce. "How do you get along with your Step-Father ?" he asked the lad.

"Fine." said the youngster. "He takes me swimming every morning. We go out to the lake and he takes me out to the middle in his boat, and I swim back."

"Isn't that a rather long swim for a boy your age ?" the Father asked, now somewhat more concerned.

"Not too bad really." replied the lad. "The only tough part is getting out of the burlap sack he puts me in."

The Yuppette was totally irate that the policeman was writing her a ticket for going through a red light. "But I've stopped at a lot of green ones that I've never gotten credit for." she pleaded.

"Can you describe your assailant ?" the officer asked, as he helped the man up from the bar room floor.

"That's exactly what I was doing when he hit me." the man replied.

Suspect in a police station: "On the night of March 2, I was sitting right here telling you where I was on the night of February 18."

FBI secretary to visitor: "He's not in just now, care to leave your fingerprints ?"

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