HUMOR Digest - 12 Jun 1997 to 13 Jun 1997

Date: Thu, 12 Jun 1997 04:47:22 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Male Logic

"What time did you pull out this morning ?" asked the one bus driver of another, as they washed up at the terminal.

"I didn't !" said the other, shaking his head, his mind obviously elsewhere, "And I'm damned worried about it now."

The giant tackle had viciously slammed the Quarterback to the ground, right in front of the visitor's bench. The opposing coach, choking back an expletive, gave him the finger.

"See ? What'd I tell ya ???" chortled the tackle to a teammate as they trotted to the huddle. "We really are number one."

"Dad," said the boy, "we had a spelling contest in school today, and I missed on the very first word."

"That's too bad Son." consoled the Father, "What was the word ?"

"Posse."

"Well, no wonder you couldn't spell it lunkhead. You can't even pronounce it correctly."

The star salesman had included an item "$50 for girls" on his expense account. The boss called him into his office and said "Look, I don't mind you enjoying yourself on these trips, especially when you're such a good producer. But let's be a little more tactful. List those kinds of expenses as being for hunting."

The salesman's expense accounts thereafter included "$50 for hunting" on a regular basis.

That is until one month, a new entry read "$250 for cleaning rifle."

A newly commissioned second Lieutenant discovered that he had no coins at all for the soda machine. He asked a passing enlisted man if he had change for a dollar.

"I'm pretty sure I do, hang on a sec buddy."

"Just a minute !" snapped the Lieutenant. "That's no way to reply to an officer. Now let's try it again. Soldier, do you have any change ?"

The enlisted man came to attention, saluted, and said, "No sir !"

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