HUMOR Digest - 14 Jun 1997 to 15 Jun 1997

Date: Sat, 14 Jun 1997 02:37:50 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Traveling Sex

The handsome American found he was unsuccessful with the beautiful London women until he took a course in elocution. His faultless English accent soon netted him a stunning bird. As he climbed into bed with her he confessed, "Actually, I come from the other side."

"This... I gotta see !" she grinned.

After eight weeks away on business in a strange city, the married exec entered a local brothel, produced 3 one-hundred dollar bills and said, "I want the worst screw in the house."

The madam answered, "But sir, for that price you can have one of our better girls."

"Nope. I want the worse piece of ass around." he maintained.

"Sir, I cannot let you do this. I mean we have our reputation to maintain too." the distraught madam said.

"Listen Toots," the man continued, "I'm not horny, just homesick."

As the Viking warship stealthily slipped up to the unsuspecting Saxon seaside village, Brodar, the chieftain rose and addressed his followers: "Now men," he bellowed, "our plan is to burn the village..."

"Horray !!!" roared the warriors.

"Kill all the men..."

"Horray !!!" they shouted again, even louder.

"And rape all the women, several times."

"Horray for our glorious leader and his wonderful plan." they shouted.

"And men ???" Brodar said.

"Yes, noble Brodar ???" they replied in unison.

"For God's sake !!! Get it right this time !!!"

Despite repeated warnings, the young Lass had drank the water while traveling. All she could find was a clinic, so she went in. The doctor said his assistant, a young lad would prep her, and he would be right back.

"Oh !!!." squealed the lovely patient, laying on her stomach as she was instructed, "You've got the thermometer in the wrong place."

"It's not in the wrong place at all." said the lad, "And it's not the thermometer."

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