HUMOR Digest - 21 Jun 1997 to 22 Jun 1997

Date: Sat, 21 Jun 1997 02:48:03 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Is This Any Way to Run an Airline ?

I realize discount airlines offer lower fares by cutting corners. However, I think showing the co-pilot's vacation videos instead of a movie was a bit much !

Two ladies were boarding the Concorde for the Atlantic Crossing. As the pilot greeted them, the one said: "Now don't you go flying faster than sound the whole time -- we want to talk some too."

By tradition more than need anymore, some smaller commuter airlines still ask passengers their weight to determine flight load. Several of the smaller island hoppers in Hawaii still follow this ritual.

The ticket agent asked the man buying his ticket his exact weight, and the guy kinda smirked and said, "With or without clothes ?"

The agent never even blinked or paused. "Whichever way you intend to travel with us today, sir."

Have any of you ever really read those safety pamphlets on transatlantic flights ? In there is a section on "ditching" in winter-like weather.

The first hint tells the passenger to "avoid getting unnecessarily wet."

On a recent flight I was on, this elderly woman kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing tip light.

Finally, she rang for the stew.

"I'm sorry to bother you." she said. "But I think you should inform the pilot that his left turn indicator is on and has been for some time."

Two women travelers, obviously nervous about their flight, bought some flight insurance at the terminal. They couldn't decide who to name as beneficiaries however.

They ended up each naming the other and happily boarded the plane.

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