HUMOR Digest - 2 Jul 1997 to 3 Jul 1997

Date: Wed, 2 Jul 1997 03:51:51 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Senior Citizens

Approaching the counter at a local post office, I said to the stern faced woman on the other said, "Are you the Postmistress ?"

"No !" she replied testily. "I'm the Postmaster. Uncle Sam don't pay me enough to be anyone's mistress."

An exchange student from Africa, dressed in colorful native robes, entered a bank in the western part of our county. He stepped up to the teller's window and told the elderly man he would like to cash a check.

The teller eyed the student critically, then remarked, "You're from outta town, ain't cha ?"

While vacationing on Cape Cod, my wife and I stopped as a small way-side stand and bought some tomatoes. When I commented how small they were, the proprietor's reply was "Ay-up".

Returning a day or two later, my wife told the man the tomatoes he had sold us were tough and not very flavorful.

The old gentleman nodded, looked at her and I a moment, then said, "Lucky they was small, ain't it ?"

Some traditions die slow. In our county, families actually "buy" a pew in Church, and pity the poor stranger who would sit there.

The minister was pleading with the members to be more tolerant of others, after all he said, "This is the Lord's house and not yours."

One farm wife, said "OK, you can put one in my pew next week, but make sure she's thin and not wearing a lot of perfume."

The doctor in a small North Carolina clinic asked the weather-beaten mountaineer how he was feeling.

"Well... it's like this." drawled the man. "I'm still a-kickin', but I ain't raisin' no dust."

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