HUMOR Digest - 5 Jul 1997 to 6 Jul 1997

Date: Sat, 5 Jul 1997 04:43:49 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Travel

The tourist was attempting to sneak several quarts of tequila, an expensive import in the US, back from Mexico. The border guard asked what was in the bottles.

The fellow replied, "That's Holy Water from the shrine of the Virgin Mary."

The guard opened one of the bottles, poured a drop on his finger, and tasted it. "This is tequila !" he said sternly.

"My heavens." gasped the tourist. "Another miracle !!!"

The rural couple scrimped and saved and sent their son to Europe for both education and travel. The youth decided to grow both a mustache and a goatee.

Thinking to surprise his parents, he sent a snapshot back home with the caption, "Do you think I now look like a Count ?"

The Father wrote back, "Here we are spending a fortune on your education and your spelling hasn't even improved one lil' bit."

An Italian cabdriver was telling a passenger that only real men drive taxis in Rome. "We use our left hand for signals and our right hand to wave at women." he proclaimed.

The tourist asked, "But how do you steer ?"

"I just told you," the cabbie replied, "that only real men drive taxis in Rome."

A tourist was propositioned in London one night. When he replied that he was almost broke, the girl agreed to a quickie in the alley.

After a bit, the girl noticed the fellow was losing interest and said, "What's the matter dearie ?"

He fumed, "Well, not only am I involved in this ridiculous standing position, but you have the brazen indecency to keep nodding at the people passing by."

"Well, that's your own fault Governor." she snapped back. "Yer've tucked in a bit o' me scarf."

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