HUMOR Digest - 9 Jul 1997 to 10 Jul 1997

Date: Wed, 9 Jul 1997 03:38:28 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Male Logic

"Having some sort of trouble ?" inquired the male motorist as he pulled up alongside the girl sitting in her car in the North Dakota shopping center parking lot.

"Car stalled, and I sure could use a jump." she replied.

"Well OK..." said the good Samaritan. "but first, let's try to get your car started."

"What is the significance," asked the game-show host, "of the numerical progression or maybe numerical regression -- ten... nine... eight... seven... six..."

"Why that's easy." interrupted one of the contestants. "It's Bo Derek getting older."

"Can anyone give me a good contemporary example of the 'Golden Rule' ?" asked the instructor in the college ethics class.

"I can sir." replied one of the students. "How about 69 ?"

"Is there a woman here in need of assistance ?" asked the medic from the ambulance as he knocked on the door.

"Yes." replied the man opening the door. "It's my wife. She has an electric vibrator lodged in her."

"Well, we'll have to transport her to the hospital." the medic replied. "Those things can be tricky to remove."

"Never mind." said the husband. "We have an HMO which doesn't allow Emergency Room visits except for life threatening incidents. But for now, could you at least turn it off ? It's interfering with the TV."

Under certain conditions, US taxpayers are required to file an estimated income tax return. A friend of mine is so upset by this that he sends his in without either name or address. His reasoning ?

"If they're gonna make me guess how much I'm gonna make, then they can guess who the hell sent it in."

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