HUMOR Digest - 5 Sep 1997 to 6 Sep 1997

Date: Fri, 5 Sep 1997 04:01:44 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Moore on Forms

My sense of humor always gets me into trouble, but I just can't help it. Applying for a job one time, the employment form clearly said: "Age of Father, if living" and the same query for my Mother.

I put down the figures 119 and 117 in the spaces provided, and the interviewer asked if my parents were truly that old.

I replied, "No, but they would be if they were still living."

Upon reviewing applications for the position of a clerical job at the Maryland State Highway, I found one young lady had listed "fellatio" under special job skills.

To the best of my knowledge, she's still working there. (No longer just a file clerk though)

Signing in for a technical conference, the hotel registry had a blank for "firm:". I entered "not very."

A young woman filling out one of our applications for employment had a very interesting answer for "What are your aims & ambitions".

She wrote: "I want to go as far as my education and sex will allow."

At times I was asked to provide references for former employees by companies considering hiring them. On one firm's form was the question: "Was this person a steady worker ?"

Since the guy was a well known do nothing, I entered "Not just steady, but motionless" in the space provided.

The State Highway's Bridge Department had a questionnaire to try to weed out people not suited. One of the questions was "What does hydrodynamics mean ?"

One applicant answered: "It means I don't get the job."

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