HUMOR Digest - 8 Sep 1997 to 9 Sep 1997

Date: Mon, 8 Sep 1997 03:57:44 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Friends and Neighbors

Our neighbors invited us over for an evening. I didn't mind the videos of their kid and vacation so much, but I do think all of the commercials for his home improvement company were a bit much.

Mrs. JimJr sez I can be so rude sometimes. After hosting a holiday party this past New Year's, I even made a special point to invite the biggest bores there back.

As they left I said, as graciously as I could, "Yes, we must get together again. Y'all have a real nice summer, hear ?"

Try as I might though, I just can't please my wife. I made an effort to be friendly to this one couple I can't stand who attended a small dinner party we gave.

I even greeted them at the door saying, "So nice to see you two. I hadn't realized we were obligated to you."

Had the nicest neighbors one time named Max and Lynn. Lynn was a true Southern Belle if there ever was one. Her husband and I were laughing at a sexist joke and Mrs. JimJr said "Men are all alike !"

Lynn smiled coyly and said, "Men are all Ah like too."

Have a friend who's a displaced Texan living here in Maryland now. During a discussion one time he remarked that Maryland would fit in a small corner of Texas.

I replied, "Yeah Bruno, I guess it would at that. But think how it would brighten up the place."

Our mailboxes are all out on the main road. Have a neighbor across the way who raises horses. I noticed he always rode his horse to the mailbox, even though it's only a short distance for him. I asked him one time why he went to all that trouble instead of just walking.

"Mr. Moore," he replied, "if the good Lord had wanted me to walk everywhere, he'd have given me four legs."

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