HUMOR Digest - 13 Oct 1997 to 14 Oct 1997

Date: Mon, 13 Oct 1997 04:03:36 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: You too Can Have a Phobia

A patient underwent intense therapy to rid him of the delusion that a huge fortune awaited him. He was expecting two letters: one would give him sole title to a huge Spanish treasure lost by Francisco Orellena in the Amazon River; the other, of course, from Publisher's Clearing House awarding him 11.7 million dollars.

Just when the psychiatrist was making real progress in curing the man, both letters arrived.

Psychiatrist to Internal Revenue agent on couch: "Nonsense ! No way does everyone in the world hate you -- everyone in the US perhaps -- but certainly not everyone in the world.

I dated this flake one time. Upon picking her up for dinner, she said, "Jimmy, I hope you don't mind, but I'm feeling a little schizophrenic tonite."

"Good !" I said. "That makes four of us."

Psychiatrist to patient: "We've made great strides in your case Mr. Blumberg. Originally it was thought that phobias such as this were a result of a chemical imbalance in the brain. Now we've progressed to the point where we don't know what causes it."

Speaking of phobias (I was), there's a little known phobia called "Kemophobia". People suffering from this fear have the notion that sitting too close to the edge of a chair will cause them to fall onto the floor. You can spot them by their constant hitching themselves back in their chairs.

They're taught to push themselves back firmly and quickly onto the chair when first seated, in order to conquer this terrible dread.

Unfortunately, this often causes the person to tip themselves over backwards, developing an entirely new phobia as yet unnamed.

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