HUMOR Digest - 22 Dec 1997 to 23 Dec 1997

Date: Mon, 22 Dec 1997 04:08:12 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Male Animal

After staying out too late again when he was campaigning for Governor, Clinton was sneaking into the hotel room. Because this had happened many times before, he was having difficulty coming up with a story.

As he opened the door to the bedroom, Hillary shouted, "And just what have you got to say for yourself Billy-boy ?"

Thinking fast he replied, "At this point, I'd like to dispense with my previously prepared remarks and simply take any questions from the floor."

An investigation into the fire that had destroyed the warehouse took almost a year. When the owner finally received word that the insurance company was ready to settle, he went to his lawyer's office to work out the details. Once there, he was astonished at the amount his lawyer wanted as a fee.

"Face it Henry." said the lawyer. "I've earned it, haven't I ?"

"Well, damn, man." fumed the owner. "You'd think you'd started the fire."

What's the first thing a Columbia Yuppie does when he rear-ends another motorist with his car ?

Ends the conversation and hides the cell phone, of course.

A man was on trial for selling drugs, and a neighbor was called as a witness. The defense attorney asked, "Did you ever get any cocaine or other drugs from the defendant ?"

"No sir." answered the man.

"Did you ever get any from his wife ?"

"No sir."

"Did you ever get any from his daughters ?"

"Uh... excuse me sir," the witness said, "but we're still talking about drugs here, right ?"

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