HUMOR Digest - 31 Jan 1998 to 1 Feb 1998

Date: Sat, 31 Jan 1998 03:08:48 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Women Drivers

Woman driver to Highway Patrolman: "If you must know, I was speeding to get off your radar screen."

Columbia Yuppette to Howard County Policeman: "Are you supposed to warn me of my rights, or am I supposed to tell you that my nephew is the County Executive ?"

A sweet "Everybody's Grandmother" type elected to stand trial for a ticket she received. The officer charged her with failure to proceed without due caution through an intersection controlled by a flashing yellow traffic signal.

At the trial, she told the judge: "I've always hurried thru that intersection to get out of the way of reckless drivers."

Woman driver to traffic cop: "Does this ticket cancel the one I got earlier this morning ?"

A knock-out blonde was driving thru Washington DC and made an illegal left turn. The traffic cop had to blow his whistle vigorously and repeatedly before she finally stopped.

"Didn't you hear my whistle lady ?" he demanded.

Wide-eyed and innocent, the blonde batted her eyelashes and said, "Yes indeed I did. But I never flirt while driving."

Ticket writing motorcycle policeman to Yuppette in a Corvette: "Perhaps you weren't doing a hundred. However, I'm going to reward you for giving it a good try."

A stewardess, stopped for doing 80, told the officer: "I can't understand it. I must have had a 20 mile-an-hour tailwind."

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