HUMOR Digest - 5 Feb 1998 to 6 Feb 1998

Date: Thu, 5 Feb 1998 03:40:32 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Sense and Nonsense

Back when Australia was but a penal colony, the British would scout the area more out of curiosity than anything else.

On one such incursion, a Sergeant was crawling back to the beach with approximately 7 spears protruding from various parts of his body.

The Captain, looking down at the bleeding man barked, "What have you to report Sergeant Maxwell ?"

"Well sir, the way I figure it Captain, the Aborigines sense an acute infringement of their territorial imperative and are reacting with aggressive anti-establishment behavior and open hostility towards the Empire and its delegations."

And then there was the old gentleman who had a massive stroke.

It made him quite popular with the women at the Sun City orgies.

One frigid morning in North Dakota a man turned up at work much the worse for wear. "I didn't sleep a wink." he told a co-worker. "I was up all night trying to keep my wife's begonia covered against the freezing cold."

"I should be so lucky." his co-worker replied. "When it's this cold my wife wears so damn many clothes to bed, I can never get anywhere near her begonia."

"Three nights a week out with the boys -- man did the wife and I have an argument about that last night !" said the man sitting at the bar.

"How did it come out ?" asked one of his drinking buddies.

"She agreed she'd cut it down to two." the first man replied.

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