HUMOR Digest - 2 Mar 1998 to 3 Mar 1998

Date: Mon, 2 Mar 1998 02:37:46 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Cars

Most people hate to parallel park. The other day, I saw this woman trying to get out of a tight parking space. She'd bump the car in front, then back-up and strike the car behind her. This went on about 2-3 minutes.

I walked over to see if I could somehow help. My offer was declined though. She said, "Why have bumpers if you're not going to use them once in a while ?"

My daughter-in-law bought a brand new super fancy Japanese sports car. I think she's gotten a little carried away though in caring for it.

Nobody's allowed to get in it unless they take off their shoes first.

I saw some of the Daytona 500 car race the other week. The TV announcer said that the pit crews can have all the tires off of the car in thirty seconds or less.

Hell -- that ain't nothing. The guy's obviously never been to Maryland. You can see kids in Baltimore City do it a lot faster than that anytime ya want.

Being from the 50's I guess I'm too used to full sized cars. I mean my lil' Mazda is a nice car and all, but it's just too small.

Take the glove compartment for example, all I can get in there is two fingers and a thumb.

I did get a hell of a bargain though when I bought that Mazda.

The dealer threw in the carrying case for nothing.

The British, not to be outdone with sub-subcompact cars, have just come out with one where the windshield is so small it's a monocle.

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