HUMOR Digest - 6 Mar 1998 to 7 Mar 1998

Date: Fri, 6 Mar 1998 03:31:57 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Milford Mill, Class of '59

Not sure about other systems, but in Baltimore County Maryland schools, where I attended high school, the 50's were the very first sex education classes.

Naturally, some of the teachers were embarrassed and used only very carefully chosen words. In one class, the teacher was explaining the anatomy of the male genitalia. He said, "The human male testicles are about the size of Plover's eggs."

A female voice from the back quipped, "Hey... Neat !!! I've always wondered how big Plover's eggs were."

Another teacher, who used to drone on and on, wanted to see if anyone was paying attention so she lapsed into doubletalk during a Biology class:

"The problems associated with durnamic smolg is resorial & reforminating pullic garbistan. As you know by now, wallage, brough tabs and occasionally blinger twetchel are the only possible remedies. Now are there any questions ?"

The brain of the class promptly asked, "Yes. What in the world are brough tabs ?"

The students were slow in bringing in their money for the Yearbooks. Miss Riley, my English and Homeroom teacher said, "Just think, 25 years from now, you can say, 'There's Bill, he's a famous doctor now, and there's Jeannie, a star with the ballet, and there's...'"

A voice from the back interrupted, "Miss Riley, our English teacher -- she's dead !"

A pep talk from our history teacher, Mr. Vice (I swear y'all, that REALLY was his name) was not unusual during class. One day he said, "Remember, on every door you encounter in life, there's a little sign to remind you to 'push'."

"Yeah !" replied a cynic from the rear of the room. "And on the other side it says 'pull'."

One day our Trig teacher, a mild lil' man, said, "I will not begin teaching today until the room settles down."

A worldly teen named Nick said, "Go home and sleep it off."

  Return to JimJr's Postings Page

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page