HUMOR Digest - 7 Mar 1998 to 8 Mar 1998

Date: Sat, 7 Mar 1998 03:09:51 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Sense and Nonsense

My Great-Grandfather always said, "If you can make love to a woman as long as it takes to cook a chicken, then, you're a man."

Unfortunately, my Great-Grandfather never foresaw the advent of the microwave oven.

Tom enters his usual watering hole and sits down, elbows on the bar. The bartender comes over and says, "What's the matter ? I've never seen you looking so depressed."

Tom sighed and replied, "I had to shoot my dog."

The barkeep said, "Was he mad ?"

Tom replied, "Well... he wasn't exactly pleased."

Mrs JimJr went up to the Glenelg Post Office to pick up a package, and the clerk asked, "Is this one yours ? The name is obliterated."

Mrs JimJr replied, "Can't be. My name is Moore."

Liberal Arts student to his date: "Do you enjoy Kipling ?"

She replied, "I'm not sure. How do you kipple ?"

Being on a low fat diet, I'm not really supposed to have real ice cream. I asked a waiter once if the ice cream was pure.

He replied, "As pure as the girl of your dreams."

I said, "Oh. Well, bring me some sherbet instead then."

What do the people in Arkansas call a politician with an IQ over 70 ?

.......... "Governor"

Of course, now they call him "Mr. President".

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