HUMOR Digest - 12 Mar 1998 to 13 Mar 1998

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 03:06:30 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Gifts

Max sat at the bar totally dejected. The bartender served him his second drink and said, "What's wrong pal ?"

"I'll never understand women." Max said. "The other night my wife gave me a birthday party. She told me later as her gift to me, I could do with her whatever I wanted."

"Wow !" said the bartender. "But why so unhappy ? That sounds like quite a gift to me."

"Well..." Max went on, "I thought about it and sent her home to her Mother, now she won't even speak to me."

They say you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. Well, maybe... but lots of women can get a mink out of an old goat.

For so many years, Mrs JimJr always exchanged the gifts I would buy for her. For her birthday one year, I decided to just give her a hundred dollar bill.

Guess what ? She exchanged it !

My neighbor Van says he has a good system for buying gifts for his wife Babette. He always buys her something she would never think of buying for herself. His plan has one fatal flaw though.

He says that eliminates damn near everything !

A Yuppie friend of mine bought his wife a beautiful tennis bracelet for Christmas. I said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles."

"She did." he replied. "But where in the hell was I gonna find a fake Jeep ?"

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