HUMOR Digest - 25 Mar 1998 to 26 Mar 1998

Date: Wed, 25 Mar 1998 02:57:48 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Maryland Day

On March 25 ("Maryland Day") we here in Maryland celebrate its founding. King Charles I granted the charter in 1632. It only seemed appropriate to honor the English today:

An Englishwoman had quadruplets one day. Well, sort-of.

Three were born at two in the afternoon. The last one had to wait until tea time was over.

Sometimes though I think the English are far too reserved. I saw a drowning man pulled put of the water while I was in England on vacation.

The lifeguard rushed over at once and promptly gave the man handshake-to-handshake resuscitation.

A Sunday School teacher in London was telling her charges all about "Crowns of Glory" given in Heaven for good deeds.

At the end of her lesson, she asked, "Tell me children -- who will get the biggest crowns ?"

A Cockney youngster replied, "Easy, 'im what's got the biggest 'eads of course."

On a train from London to Manchester, an American was fast becoming a bit of a bore running down the English.

"You English are just too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. I mean look at me -- I have Italian blood, French blood, a little Indian blood and even some Swedish."

"I say old Chap." responded a local who'd had enuff. "That was most sporting of your Mother."

I will admit though that the English have always been real good fighters.

But think about it... after what they do to food, they'd damn well be ready to defend themselves.

A English singer performed at a large cafe in New York. At the end of his performance, the patrons gave him a five minute standing ovation. He had to take a half-dozen bows.

At the end of the nite, the manager asked him what he thought of the crowd.

"Seemed friendly enough." he replied.

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