HUMOR Digest - 29 Apr 1998 to 30 Apr 1998

Date: Wed, 29 Apr 1998 03:07:37 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Gardening

I pretty much confine my efforts to yard work. I don't seem to have much luck with house plants. I bought one of those hanging fern things for my computer room last winter.

Hell, even the rope died.

I pride myself mostly on my lawn. I may have overdone the fertilizer this year though and overfed it -- now, I have the only fat grass in the neighborhood.

Last summer was tough in Maryland -- we had one of the worst droughts in over a hundred years. It was so dry that even the artificial grass around the pool turned brown.

I like to experiment with plants. I crossed a rosebush with a pansy once.

The new plant still rambled like a rosebush, but it also skipped too.

My neighbor goes in for what's generally called "container gardening".

In his case though, he and his plants are both potted.

The photos that came back from Mars showed vast stretches of arid land.

Now I'm wondering if 2 of my neighbors are aliens.

Had a tree doctor come out from Columbia Maryland to check our prize Oak Tree.

I had to fire him though. He became emotionally involved with his patient.

I was suspicious of him from day one. He did a little minor trimming, saw some sap, and fainted.

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