HUMOR Digest - 25 Jun 1998 to 26 Jun 1998

Date: Thu, 25 Jun 1998 04:41:40 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: JimJr's Real Life Definitions

A friend of mine, Lee Daniel Quinn, "Quinn's Devious Dictionary", has been trying his hand at writing my style of quickie quips.

As another volley, here's Part 2 of JimJr's Real Life Definitions:

Library Director - a bureaucrat with a fancy title... but with little to do;
                            how often do libraries get lost

Marriage - oceans of emotion surrounded by expanses of expenses

Modesty - self-confident feeling that the world already knows;
                 or at least, will soon find out everything about you

Obsolescence - what happens to your computer & software after you get it set-up
                         & working the way you want

Parable - a heavenly story with no practical earthly meaning

Pessimist - a person who complains about the noise made when opportunity knocks

PhD - a degree which causes the bearer to proceed from cocksure ignorance
          to thoughtful uncertainty

Resourceful wife - one who prepares pit bar-b-que for dinner while waiting for
                             the Fire Dept to arrive

Silence - the only part of any conversation which can never be misquoted by others

Tension - the price you pay for being a race horse instead of a plow horse

Tolerance - allowing idiots to find happiness in their stupidity when they wouldn't
                   listen to your own sage advice

Vision - looking farther than anyone else can see

Yawn - opening one's mouth, wishing others would close theirs

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