HUMOR Digest - 14 Jul 1998 to 15 Jul 1998

Date: Tue, 14 Jul 1998 03:18:39 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: It's a Funny Life...

My Great-Grandfather called it "The Holy Sabbath"; my Grandfather, "The Sabbath"; my Father, "Sunday".

Me ? I call it "The Weekend".

All my life I've believed in exercise. Even now, I still begin each day after waking with a vigorous "up-down, up-down, etc." for three minutes straight.

After I rest, I exercise the other eyelid.

As a professional girl watcher all my life, like a lot of men, I would focus on specific parts of the female anatomy at times. Now that I'm past 50, it doesn't matter so much any more.

In fact, a lot depends entirely on which direction the girl is walking.

My Great-Grandmother drove a horse and carriage, but was afraid to even ride in a car. My Grandmother drove a car, but was very afraid to even ride in a plane. My Mother could fly a plane but was afraid to ride in a jet.

I can fly a jet, but I'm afraid to even ride in a horse and carriage.

When my Mother lived in Columbia South Carolina she had a real Southern Belle for a neighbor who was over 100-years-old.

When I commented on how many people from the North were moving to SC she stood up to her full height and said, "At least, during the last invasion, we got to shoot at them damn Yankees."

I will admit to sometimes getting carried away when a discussion involves politics. After a rather heated debate at a party, I still hadn't "cooled down" by the time we were leaving.

Mrs JimJr said to our hostess, "You'll have to excuse my husband tonight. He was just being himself."

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