HUMOR Digest - 29 Jul 1998 to 30 Jul 1998

Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1998 03:09:55 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: How's that Again ???

Glenelg is such a small community, I was surprised that they had a community paper. I asked one old-timer about it.

He replied, "We all know what everybody else is doing, but we like to read the paper anyway to see who's been caught at it."

Dominique Dawes, an Olympic Gymnastics Champion, once came down with the flu. The doctor recommended complete bed rest as she had a very high fever. "How high is it ?" she asked.

The doctor replied, "Well... Ms Dawes, I'm afraid right now, it's 103."

"What's the world record ???" she shot back quickly.

A neighbor of mine had 3 functioning windmills when we moved here. I noticed prior to winter she had taken 2 of them down though.

The next time I saw her, I said, "Mrs Musgrove, what happened to your other windmills ?"

She said, "Well... there was barely enough wind for them to function properly, so we took two of them down."

An engineer was stuck and knocked down by a hit-and-run driver. The police arrived & asked the man if he had gotten the driver's license plate number.

"Not exactly." he replied. "But I did notice if it were doubled and then multiplied by itself, the square root of the product was the same as the original numbers, only with the integers reversed."

As the first McDonald's opened near us, most of the old-timers were not used to the pace of the service. My one neighbor, Mrs. Musgrove, stood at the register, and counted the change from her purchase 3 times.

"What's the matter Miss ?" asked the clerk. "Isn't your change correct ?"

"Yes, it's correct..." she sniffed, "but just barely !"

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