HUMOR Digest - 22 Nov 1998 to 23 Nov 1998

Date: Sun, 22 Nov 1998 04:01:41 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Drinking

Clinton may not be as dumb as he looks or acts. Now, he wants to increase the tax on alcohol. He & co-President Hillary are already responsible for a lot of us doubling our consumption.

The last time I tried to donate blood to the Red Cross, they rejected it. Seems that when the bottle was only half-way full there was no more room for the blood because of the head on it.

The next time some goody two-shoes starts lecturing you on the evils of alcohol, point out to them that water has killed far more people than drink ever will. If they demand proof, tell them to read the story of Noah in the Bible.

At a tennis club bar in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina, a guest became both loud and abusive. Two of the waiters had to physically throw the drunk out the door.

He re-entered moments later. One of the regulars commented: "Perhaps they put too much backspin on him."

After several hours of drinking a guy at the bar sez to the female patron near him, "Look sweetheart, I don't like to waste time or words, but do you sleep around ?"

The woman, who had also been drinking quite heavily replied, "Normally no. But you talked me into it."

I have to have my cholesterol tested every 3 months. It came to my attention that I was paying $10 more for the test than the posted rate, and asked the tech why.

She said, "Well Mr Moore, we have to let your blood settle and then we siphon the alcohol off the top before we can analyze it."

  Return to JimJr's Postings Page

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page