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HUMOR Digest - 14 Dec 1998 to 15 Dec 1998
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1998 04:24:58 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Happy Hanukkah
Hanukkah (aka "Chanukah" or "Hannuka") began at sundown 12/13. It's an eight-day festival celebrated by those of the Jewish faith; it is also known as the "Feast of Lights".
I kinda lost interest in the celebration though when I found out it had nothing at all to do with a Lite Beer tasting shindig.
Hanukkah celebrates the Jewish victory over the Syrian tyrant Antiochus. Contrary to rumors which have been circulating for years, "Antiochus" is NOT pronounced "Anti-Claus".
The little boy approached the Rabbi and said that he wanted to become Jewish. The Rabbi explained that this was indeed a big step to be thought over very carefully.
The kid replied, "OK, but I wantta get in on this Hanukkah business where you get presents for eight nights in a row."
The gentile girl had married a Jewish boy and they dined each weekend at her Mother-in-Law's. Each week, the Mother-in-Law would serve matzoh-ball soup as the opening course. The girl looked forward to Hanukkah, hoping for a special dish, but true to form, the same old matzoh-ball soup was served.
On the way home the girl asked her husband, "Honey, doesn't your Mother know how to prepare any other part of the matzoh ?"
The Yuppette witnessed a neighbor lighting her Menorah candle each nite & at first chance, engaged the lady in conversation. Her Jewish neighbor explained both the Holiday & the tradition.
The subject of the conversation got around to their children. The Yuppette bragged how she had raised a doctor and a banker.
The Jewish neighbor said that she had only one son who was a Rabbi.
The Yuppette exclaimed, "A Rabbi ??? What the hell kind of a job is that for a smart Jewish boy ?"
The single Mother had married a Jewish man. She had agreed to let her son decide which faith to embrace. As both Christmas and Hanukkah neared, they agreed to decorate the house in the traditions of each faith. The woman and her son decorated the Christmas tree and placed all of the other decorations around the house.
When they were finished, the husband got out his Menorah and placed it on the mantle.
The wife said, "That's it ??? Aren't we going to go chop down a Hanukkah tree and decorate it ?"
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