HUMOR Digest - 25 Jan 1999 to 26 Jan 1999

Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1999 04:18:13 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: How's that Again ?

A car dealership hired its first female mechanic. Above her repair bay she put a sign:
"The wench with a wrench".

A college professor at a university known for its football rather than scholastic record said: "The most underdeveloped territory in the world lies under any football helmet."

Speaking of football (I was) one football coach's lament is that the toughest problems he's faced in his career almost always involve defensive linemen or offensive alumni.

The budding Yuppette had been pleading with her parents for a new convertible to go off to college in. Her parents said the car was too expensive for a girl her age. Gathering some facts, she then tried to convince them to buy the car since it was cheaper per pound than her usual dinner entree.

Most people know a "Polyanna", stumbling blindly optimistic through life. I was once in a discussion with such a person and said that some of my fondest dreams had yet to come true.

She smiled, and replied, "Take heart Jimmy dear, most of your worst nightmares haven't come true either."

Two lil' boys were in the midst of the time worn "My Daddy can beat up your Daddy" discussion when one suddenly said, "Well... maybe but wait 'til next year."

"Why's that ?" asked the first. "Your Daddy's working out at the gym or something ?"

"Nah !" the other boy replied, "But the way things are going at home, I'll have a new Daddy by next year."

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