HUMOR Digest - 8 Mar 1999 to 9 Mar 1999

Date: Mon, 8 Mar 1999 03:24:49 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Military

Times sure have changed since I was in the Navy. I know all of the services had to add amenities to attract recruits, but personally, I think the strolling violin players in the chow hall at the Naval Academy were a bit much.

Believe it or not, there's still fallout from the scandal at the Aberdeen Proving Grounds Army Base here in Maryland. One promiscuous local lass has been charged with contributing to the delinquency of a Major.

Although not yet approved for combat roles, the women in the Marines do indeed participate in training with their male counterparts. Some of the men are having a hard time working with women in the field. Noticing a Lieutenant had dropped an ammo clip, a Corporal picked it up and said, "Pardon me, I think you dropped this babe, Sir."

"Homecoming" events still draw quite a few old grads around here. At such functions, it's kinda traditional to introduce yourself with your name, campus (Univ of Md has several) and then your graduation year.

One fellow was making the rounds was introducing himself as "Billy [Smith], Vietnam, Clash of '62."

Coming into port, the ship encountered a heavy fog. The Captain ordered all engines stopped, as they were going to wait it out before entering the narrow channel.

A young Ensign, thinking to score some points said, "But Sir, I can see the stars above."

The Old Man looked evenly at the boy and replied, "Sonny, unless the engines explode, we ain't going that way."

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