HUMOR Digest - 10 Mar 1999 to 11 Mar 1999

Date: Wed, 10 Mar 1999 03:08:24 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Golf

I was playing golf with my Minister and watched as he missed a putt by less than an inch. He paused and said, "Drat !!!"

I said, "Pastor, if that's the best you can cuss, you ain't never gonna break par."

Not that I wear them out, but somehow, I'm always buying new golf balls. I stopped in the pro shop and bought a dozen good ones. The clerk said, "Shall I wrap them ?"

I smiled and replied, "No thanks, I'll drive them home."

The duffer had been on the course for over three hours. He eyed his young caddie and said, "You must be getting tired carrying my clubs for so long."

"No, not really." the lad replied. "I'm more tired from all the counting."

After having a few too many beers while waiting to tee-off the tipsy golfer managed to get onto the first green in just twelve strokes. After putting for the third time, he hit the ball off the green and into a trap.

As he stalked over towards the ball, he sneered, "You guys tilt the green just one more time and I quit !"

Waiting at the Clubhouse for their other two partners after finishing 18 holes, the pair became concerned because the two were nowhere in sight.

One man dialed one of the missing foursome on his cell phone. "Hey Doc." he said. "Isn't Morris finished yet ? How many strokes has he had ?"

"About 146 with the clubs and one, possibly two apoplectic." the doctor replied.

Indexed UGA Humor Digests 1996-1999:
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