HUMOR Digest - 22 Mar 1999 to 23 Mar 1999

Date: Mon, 22 Mar 1999 03:19:15 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Flame Form (offensive to NewsGroup posters)

There's a rich resource available in our HumorList Archives. In addition to the current 1999 Digests, copies are available of 1996-1998 mailings. The URL's are listed daily in my posts.

             Date: Fri, 14 Jun 1996 07:21:26 -0400
            From: Joshua Ostroff [joshua@VMR.COM]
         Subject: Flame Form Letter (off to newbies) 1/2

Dear

[ ] sir                  [ ] clueless           [ ] big man on campus
[ ] madam           [ ] dweeb            [ ] twerp
[ ] Elvis               [ ] moon beam    [ ] boor
[ ] citoyen           [ ] Geek              [ ] grad student
[ ] Liberal           [ ] Comrade        [ ] Conservative
[ ] Dilbert           [ ] Dogbert          [ ] Ratbert
[ ] twit                [ ] Cur                 [ ] Obergruppenfuehrer

You are being gently flamed because:

[ ] you sent a message to the list rather than the list-sever
[ ] you continued a boring useless stupid thread
[ ] you repeatedly posted to the same thread you just posted to
[ ] you repeatedly initiated incoherent, flaky, mindless threads
[ ] you posted a piece riddled with profanities
[ ] you advocated Net censorship
[ ] you SCREAMED! (used all caps)
[ ] you posted some sort of crap that doesn't belong in this group
[ ] you posted the inanely stupid 'Make Money Fast' article
[ ] you posted the inanely stupid '$250 Cookie Recipe' article
[ ] you posted an inanely stupid magic-weight loss article
[ ] you posted an inanely stupid cheap s**t at high prices article
[ ] you posted an inanely stupid 'fix Your Credit' article
[ ] you posted an inanely stupid "Good Time Virus" warning
[ ] you threatened others with physical harm
[ ] you made a bigoted statement(s)
[ ] you repeatedly assumed unwarranted intellectual superiority
[ ] you are under the misapprehension this group is your preserve
[ ] you repeatedly have shown lack of humor
[ ] you are apparently under compulsion to post to every thread
[ ] you are posting an anonymous attack
[ ] you responded to an obvious troll
[ ] you posted an obvious troll
[ ] you have a sig that is more than 5 lines long
[ ] you have a sig with more than 4 lines of ASCII graphics
[ ] you assumed that AOL/CIS/Prodigy founded the Internet
[ ] you neglected to do research on the chosen subject
[ ] you asked a question that was covered in the available FAQ
[ ] you redundantly covered the same point over and over
[ ] you assumed that the Internet is a U.S. only phenomenon
[ ] you crossposted excessively
[ ] you, in any way, make, shape, or form, agreed with Senator Exon
[ ] you posted the Good Times virus spread by e-mail message
[ ] you used long lines, i.e. you didn't break up your lines after 60-70 characters,
     thereby making it hard to quote your post
[ ] You posted a request to send business/get well cards to a boy with cancer
     who is trying to break the guiness book record
[ ] Over 90% of your post was quoted from a previous post
[ ] Over 90% of your post was quoted from a previous post and
     your addition was "I agree" or "Me too"
[ ] Barged into a quiet little news group/IRC channel/MUD/whatever & started
     stinking up the place just because you read an article about the news group,
     IRC channel/MUD/whatever in some magazine
[ ] Repeatedly requested info on where to find XXX stuff
[ ] Repeatedly harassed people with androgynous names like Chris, Jamie,
     or Rajhatmalhaban, with "Are you a girl?" or "M/F?"
[ ] you, in any way, make shape, or form, used the term(s)
     [ ] infobahn    [ ] Neutopia    [ ] synergy    [ ] warez
     [ ] SUX         [ ] wymyn       [ ] ROOLZ
     [ ] KEWL/KOOL/K0oL     [ ] information superhighway
     [ ] Other annoying term:

[ ] you discussed the following in a non-nutcase newsgroup:
     [ ] hollow earth theory                        [ ] alien President theory
     [ ] orbital mind control frisbees           [ ] faith healing
     [ ] government weather control           [ ] Russian psychics
     [ ] Squeaky Fromme                          [ ] the nation of France
     [ ] robot spy bees                               [ ] promiscuous space aliens
     [ ] Manos, the Hands of Fate              [ ] Other:
 

(concludes tomorrow)

Indexed UGA Humor Digests 1996-1999:
          (text) http://www.crosswinds.net/~jimjr
          (zip)  http://www.oocities.org/BourbonStreet/6293

UGA Message Board:
           http://www.InsideTheWeb.com/mbs.cgi/mb212137

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