Greetings Earthbait

Greetings Earthbait!

ATTENTION Bin Laden! Omar! Taliban! Al Qaeda! This if Fa, Do's big brother.
Sorry the Koran didn't mention us, we wanted it to be a surprise! This is an open invitation to join us for the next encounter with Comet Hale-Bopp. The comet is long gone, but guess what, we'll go after it instead of waiting for it's return! Those suicide missions are just too darn messy, and the prison uprisings, well, just take too much planning. You're always wondering if you brought enough weapons and when's the best time to riot so you can fulfill your suicide mission. Hey, do it the easy way. No muss, no fuss! We'll even relax our dress code. If you're a terrorist, you're in! We'll have plenty of refreshments so you'll be more than even the most relaxed! Our specialty spiked Kool-Aid spiked apple sauce and our new, special Falaffel, with that extra special seasoning that really delivers a whallop, made just for you, will be avaiable approximately 2 hours before scheduled final departure. However, you are required to consume vast quantiies of these foods and beverages at that time. Sorry, no curry, that can produce too much gas and risk of subsequent explosion before final departure.Hey, there are already 39 good reasons to join us, and after you do there will be millions more! So come along with us before those blue eye devil Americans get ya! We will arrive to pick you all up soon ... very soon!
This IS Your Leader, FA, Listen to Me SPEAK - OR ELSE!
Attention Slaves of the little smoggy excuse of a planetOID you refer to as Dearth, ah, I mean Earth. I am FA! Do, my little brother, and I just had a good talk. We have decided that Heaven's Gate must not be closed until the year 2010. The comet will be leaving, but I will still be around. Do, has sent me, his BIG brother back for YOU! FA has spoken! Your agenda for the new millenium is listed below. Failure to conform will result in painful castration using nasty, big, pointy teeth, (but fortunately for me, not my teeth), and death will await you all-ways. I AM FA! RECIS, ah, damn your English and its weird spelling- RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!

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Job title: Second Order Slave

Key responsibilities: All orders given by anyone, but especially Fa's commands.

Department or workgroup: The devil's own

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Hyperactive delusioned .357 mag SPEEDfreak

Don't DARE Fa - Drugs are a religious experience

I'm not JOKING around

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