Originally compiled by an unknown author.
Adaption and additions by Inbar Raz (inbar@glx.chief.co.il)
Baggy Trousers
Naughty boys in nasty schools
Headmasters breaking all the rules
Having fun and playing fools
Smashing up the woodwork tools
All the teachers in the pub
Passing 'round the ready-rub
Trying not to think of when
The lunch-time bell will ring again.
Oh what fun we had
But, did it really turn out bad
All I learnt at school
Was how to bend not break the rules
Oh what fun we had
But at the time it seemed so bad
Trying different ways
To make a difference to the days.
Headmaster's had enough to-day
All the kids have gone away
Gone to fight with next-door's school
Every term, that is the rule
Sits alone and bends his cane
Same old backsides again
All the small ones tell tall tales
Walking home and squashing snails.
Oh what fun we had
But, did it really turn out bad
All I learnt at school
Was how to bend not break the rules
Oh what fun we had
But at the time it seemed so bad
Trying different ways
To make a difference to the days.
Lots of girls and lots of boys
Lots of smells and lots of noise
Playing football in the park
Kicking Pushbikes after dark
Baggy trousers, dirty shirt
Pulling hair and eating dirt
Teacher comes to break it up
Back of the 'ead with a plastic cup.
Oh what fun we had
But, did it really turn out bad
All I learnt at school
Was how to bend not break the rules
Oh what fun we had
But at the time it seemed so bad
Trying different ways
To make a difference to the days.
Baggy trousers, baggy trousers, baggy trousers
Baggy trousers, baggy trousers, baggy trousers
Embarrassment
Received a letter just the other day,
Don't seem they wanna know you no more,
They've laid it down given you their score,
Within the first two lines it bluntly read.
You're not to come and see us no more,
Keep away from our door,
Don't come 'round here no more
What on earth did you do that for?
Our aunt, she don't wanna know she says,
What will the neighbours think they'll think,
We don't that's what they'll think, we don't,
But I will, 'cause I know they think I don't.
Our uncle he don't wanna know he says,
We are a disgrace to the human race he says,
How can you show your face,
When you're a disgrace to the human race?
No committment, you're an embarrassment,
Yes, an embarrassment, a living endorsement,
The intention that you have booked,
Was an intention that was overlooked.
They say, stay away,
Don't want you home today,
Keep away from our door,
Don't come 'round here no more.
Our dad, he don't wanna know he says,
This is a serious matter,
Too late to reconsider,
No one's gonna wanna know ya !
Our mum, she don't wanna know,
I'm feelin' twice as old, she says,
Thought she had a head on her shoulder,
'Cause I'm feelin' twice as older,
I'm feelin' twice as older.
You're an embarrassment...
E.R.N.I.E.
I am the bringer of your wishes,
Your saviour from doing work,
The washer of your dishes,and
You'll still get you mid-day perk.
Estate agent,
Your mansion and pot of gold,
All the home comforts,
Before you're getting tired and old.
One more try,
Try to get what you've never had,
Five more bob,
For the whole world that can't be bad.
We can't all win,
Look it's happening,
The future's looking not so bleak,
A thousand winners every week.
A thousand winners every week.
So when you hear me coming,
Along halls and up the stairs,
Get the black teapot,
In the cupboard, under chairs,
Forget all your wives tales,
Or forecasts and dividends,
E.R.N.I.E. feels vibrations,
Only pays out to trusting friends.
One more try,
Try to get what you've never had,
Five more bob,
For the whole world that can't be bad.
We can't all win,
Look it's happening,
The future's looking not so bleak,
A thousand winners every week.
A thousand winners every week.
Keep your hand on the bottle,
And your eyes glued upon the set,
When the score cards come up,
Could be you for the big one next.
Publicity, no thank you,
On the front page of the currant bun,
They think you stink,
But in the pub you'll be number one.
One more try,
Try to get what you've never had,
Five more bob,
For the whole world that can't be bad.
We can't all win,
Look it's happening,
The future's looking not so bleak,
A thousand winners every week.
A thousand winners every week.
A thousand winners every week.
A thousand winners every week.
Close Escape
Lyrics courtesy of Dave P. Watson (D.P.Watson@newcastle.ac.uk)
That was a close escape, have to get a new hobby to relate.
Something less conspicuous, won't take up too much time,
something less energetic, for what I've got in mind.
I won't be too persistant 'cos I'm not that way inclined.
See, that's the one for me. Look under "Collins" see if she's free.
Sweaty fingers find 5p 4151683
"Hello Miss Collins you'll not know me. I'm in the undies
buisness, see? Please please can you tell me the size; how
far from the knee?"
Oh dear dear, me luck is running thin.
I'll take another name I might have a win.
What? 2 more points? I hope no one fills it in.
See, that's the one for me. Look under "Dickens" CFG.
See if she'll speak to me. Hand's get shakey eye's can't see.
Having trouble find 5p 2171983
"Hello Miss Dickens you'll not know me, I'm in the undies
buisness, see?"
Feel more relaxed now here we go again.
Hoi! No temporaries I've heard most take me in.
Oh dear dear me, that is the one it fits.
So please please can you tell me the textured fit feels good to me.
In the naked mood, try to grin and bear with me.
Please don't think me rude, I only hear don't want to see.
See, that's the one for me. That was quick, too quick for me.
Of that I can see, wash me laundry oh bugger me!
Sugar or milk with your tea? No I couldn't, well I'll see.
What's your hobby? Just the same as me, see you soon for tea.
I'll give it one last chance I think you'll all agree.
I'm getting nowhere here, on my last 5p.
I'm sick of waiting for ages nothing interests me.
I'll ring another number, make sure it's a she.
Here we go again, I'll give it 3rd degree.
No hard feelings oh yes I'm sure you'll all agree.
I'll take another name I might have a win.
Not Home Today
LYRICS NOT AVAILABLE. NEED YOUR HELP, GUYS!
On The Beat Pete
Up I rush off to work
Hello Fred you look half dead and
Are you coming are you going
I could never do a double shift
(Allo Fred get some bed Fred)
Hello Steve long time no see
I like the Stones still on the thieve
Bet you ain't half seen some time
In your short-lived life of crime
(By the way, have you got the time ?)
On the beat Pete
Wiv me size ten feet
I wander up and down the town
For me that's a treat
The beauties of the city and
Everything's sweet
For me that's a treat
'Cos I'm on the beat Pete
Swing my truncheon merrily
Try to teach the blind to see
Move a lady for a seat
Tourist find a sight to see
Mingle with the crowd
I wonder if they're proud
Yes, that would be a treat
'Cos I'm on the beat Pete... beat Pete
Hello Snowball, you still drunk ?
Here have a smoke, anyone for lunch ?
A printed person of last week's times
Seen a lot of stars and moonshine
(Spare you a dime ?)
On the beat Pete
Wiv me size ten feet
I wander up and down the town
For me that's a treat
The beauties of the city and
Everything's sweet
For me that's a treat
'Cos I'm on the beat Pete
Swing my truncheon merrily
Try to teach the blind to see
Move a lady for a seat
Tourist find a sight to see
Mingle with the crowd
I wonder if they're proud
Yes, that would be a treat
'Cos I'm on the beat Pete... beat Pete
Hello Bun been down the oven ?
What's the rate for a single person ?
Is it good, is it sad ?
You look unhappy it must be bad
Hello May been a busy lady
All work and no time for play
Still it's the life you chose I suppose
Good luck to you come what may !
Skip-a-di-do-da-days !
On the beat Pete
Wiv me size ten feet
I wander up and down the town
For me that's a treat
The beauties of the city and
Everything's sweet
For me that's a treat
'Cos I'm on the beat Pete
Swing my truncheon merrily
Try to teach the blind to see
Move a lady for a seat
Tourist find a sight to see
Mingle with the crowd
I wonder if they're proud
Yes, that would be a treat
'Cos I'm on the beat Pete... beat Pete
Beat Pete(x 7)
Solid Gone
(Okay Boys, let's get real solid gone !)
Shake it mister
And a sister too
I'm gonna make ya boogie woogie
Gonna rattle in your shoes
Boogie with me baby (Boogie boogie)
Oh won't ya boogie with me baby (Boogie boogie)
Oh won't ya boogie with me baby we'll flip the whole night through
(Oh but listen to me baby)
Come on baby won't ya do it right
You can boogie with me baby and you know I'll hold you tight
move on over and a (watch this)
That's the way to do it honey
It ain't the twist won't you
Boogie with me baby (Boogie boogie)
Boogie with me baby (Boogie boogie)
Boogie with me baby we'll flip the whole night through
(Swing it on that Joanna)
(Yeh July 4th)
(Oh)
(Chrissy Boy pick it !)
Well I got the boogie the boogie got me,
I'm so gone I hap-happy
Won't ya boogie with me baby(Boogie boogie)
Boogie with me baby (Boogie boogie)
Boogie with me baby we'll flip the whole night through,
Let's take it over there over there,over there,
Well, the boogie is a-comin'
Over there, there, there.
I said I got the boogie (I got the boogie)
Boogie with me baby (Boogie with me baby)
I said I got the boogie (I got the boogie)
Boogie with me baby (Boogie with me baby)
I said come on and flip the whole night through.
I said boogie with me baby we'll flip the whole night through
I said come on over baby we'll flip the whole night through.
I'm a real solid gone
Yeah!!
Take It or Leave It
How come he enjoys himself not me? (I don't know)
How come she smiles a good morning to me?
How do they make a hard day's work easy?
Tell me something I'll put it to the test
Take hold of yourself and you will see
How lucky we are to be free,
Now you take for granted,
Life and country.
How come he jokes with friends but not me?
How can she sing out of tune not me?
How do they find time for kids on Sunday?
I can't express uncalled for agress,
You're in one-way traffic can't you see?
Before a head-on crash steer free,
When if it's too late,
Don't come and cry to me.
How come they get on with but not me?
How can they walk arm-in-arm happily?
How does that old boy dance down the street?
Tell me something I'll put it to the test,
Take hold of yourself and you will see,
How lucky we are to be free,
Now you take for granted,
Life and country.
How come we never get on you and me?
How can we find out the remedy?
How does that old lady's home look neat?
How does that old lady's home look neat?
How does that old lady's home look neat?
...
Shadow of Fear
Lyrics courtesy of Dave Watson (D.P.Watson@newcastle.ac.uk)
I walk through Camden town in the evening,
strolling silently and hardly breathing.
Footsteps behind me slightly quicker,
the corner of my eye a shadowy flicker.
I wonder if he's after my soul again tonight.
Stops to whisper with the shadows but still keeps me in his sight.
I shout at passing strangers but they don't seem aware,
don't want to get involved in my spiritual affair.
Tonight my fears are growing worse and worse.
I feel him brewing up an evil curse.
I sense a chill creep up my spine
I want to scream but only whine
because I know it can't be true
mind's gone now legs it's up to you.
I wonder if he's after my soul again tonight.
Stops to whisper in the shadows but still keeps me in his sight.
I shout at passing strangers but they don't seem aware,
don't want to get involved in my spititual affair
I try to accept him as my partner.
He still makes cold his manic laughter.
But every time I try to turn around he throws my fears
and makes no sound he stirs them to the ground.
Acheing muscles, puff and pant I run.
To stagger home and hide behind my mum.
But even when I'm safely in my bed.
I know that he is waiting in my head.
I wonder if he's after my soul again tonight.
Stops to whisper in the shadows but still keeps me in his sight.
I shout at passing strangers but they don't seem aware,
don't want to get involved in my spiritual affair.
Disappear
Walls signed with autographs,
Ceilings full of echoed laughs,
Something's disappear.
Gurus on roller skates,
Capital for swinging fetes
The area is to be cleared.
A stab in the back, the smoke and the black
As it smoulders to its grave.
Disappear with the fun and the fear
Another chance to misbehave.
Organ tinkling organ,
Marriage planning children,
Spinning, round and round.
rusty swings and roundabouts,
Disco's full of layabouts,
Nowhere to be found.
A stab in the back, the smoke and the black
As it smoulders to its grave.
Disappear with the fun and the fear
Another chance to misbehave.
Come on then we'll go down there,
Let's see the local ash tray,
Let's see if we can be happy,
We'll mess about just you and me,
I must try to make it home before tea.
Walls signed with autographs,
Ceilings full of echoed laughs,
Something's disappear.
Gurus on roller skates,
Capital for swinging fetes
The area is to be cleared.
A stab in the back, the smoke and the black
As it smoulders to it's grave.
Disappear with the fun and the fear
Another chance to misbehave.
A stab in the back, the smoke and the black
As it smoulders to its grave.
Disappear with the fun and the fear
Another chance to misbehave.
Overdone
LYRICS NOT AVAILABLE. NEED YOUR HELP, GUYS!
In The Rain
There is such confusion in my mind,
To play your illusion is so unkind,
I didn't know who you were this afternoon,
You said that it didn't matter and I'll see you soon.
Standing here in the rain,
Maybe the weather will change again,
Change again or stay the bleeding same.
How I met you in the first place I'll never know,
But now I think I know you you're telling me to go, ho, ho,
You said you'd be back you told me to wait here just in case,
But then you never arrive and I'm waiting outside your place.
Standing here in the rain,
Maybe the weather will change again,
Change again or stay the bleeding same.
Standing here in the rain,
Maybe the weather will change again,
Change again or stay the bleeding same.
There is such confusion in my mind,
To play your illusion is so unkind,
I didn't know who you were this afternoon,
You said you said that doesn't matter I'll see you soon.
Standing here in the rain,
Maybe the weather will change again,
Change again or stay the bleeding same.
You Said
You said you're leaving, well that's ok,
You said you've had enough, what can I say ?
I suppose I'll be sad for a week or two,
But in the end, it's the same for me and you,
We'll both be sorry through and through.
You said you're leaving, well that's ok,
You said you've had enough, what can I say ?
I suppose I'll be sad for a week or two,
But in the end, it's the same for me and you,
We'll both be sorry through and through.
Me and you.
You must stop doing this, you've got to change,
'Cos you hold all the cards, you've got range,
Every time you go away, I think of you.
You said you're leaving, you said this,
You said, you said that,
You said you don't want to see me no more,
You said you don't want me to come to your door,
You said, you said,
I suppose I'll be sad for a week or two,
But in the end, it's the same for me and you,
We'll both be sorry through and through.
Yes you do.
You must stop doing this, you've got to change,
'Cos you hold all the cards, you've got range,
Every time you go away, I think of you.
The Return of the Los Palmas 7
[instrumental]