A quiz for Anti-Bill of Rights / Anti-Civil Rights advocates to consider:

  1. Ted Kennedy, Charles Schumer, Rosie O'Donell, and Barbara Boxer strongly denounce private gun ownership. Their bodyguards; however, carry:
    1. concealed handguns
    2. whistles and pepper spray
    3. Garbage can lids
    4. Slingshots
    5. HCI membership cards
    6. Very heavy purses

  2. You and your baby daughter are awakened in the middle of the night by your estranged, abusive ex-husband. Although you have a restraining order against him, he is drunk and beats down your front door with a crowbar screaming, "If I can't have you, nobody can!" You should:
    1. Call Rosie O'Donnell or one of the "Million Moms"
    2. Call Sarah Brady, Bill Clinton, Chuck Schumer, Barbara Boxer, or Dianne Feinstein
    3. Call 911, and tell them that they should arrive within 10 seconds
    4. Threaten legal action
    5. Grab a ping-pong paddle
    6. Reason with him (maybe he was an abused child)

  3. Since 1987, 34 states have enacted concealed carry laws. Violent crime decreased in these states and the anticipated "Dodge City" mayhem never materialized. Even critics were surprised. Concealed carry succeeded because:
    1. Sunspot activity decreased after 1987
    2. Trigger locks rendered guns inoperative and therefore safe
    3. Sarah Brady and Rosie O'Donnell scared the crooks away
    4. A healing wave of pacifism swept over the hearts of criminals in these 34 states
    5. All the criminals registered themselves and their guns with the police, so decided it would be in their best interest to start behaving themselves
    6. Janet Reno said that crime should stop

  4. Schools, churches, subways, and restaurants have often been assaulted, but rarely military bases, police stations, gun shows, or shooting clubs. The reason for this is because:
    1. The targets aren't sitting or kneeling
    2. VA benefits are lost if you shoot a soldier
    3. You can't enter an army base without bumper stickers
    4. Schools don't threaten felons with detention hall
    5. There is no reason, it's just a bizarre coincidence
    6. All of the above

  5. Logic, reason, and common sense:
    1. Are irrelevant if they contradict your feelings
    2. Should not apply to firearms
    3. Defy opinion polls
    4. Pale beside hysteria, fear, and political ambition
    5. Don't apply where the safety of our children are concerned
    6. All of the above

  6. Every dictator always disarms his victims, before beginning to annihilate freedom loving people. The reason for this is because:
    1. Guns cause crime and suicides
    2. Guns cause accidents
    3. The "benevolent dictators" are concerned that their subjects might hurt themselves if allowed to possess dangerous weapons
    4. The police and Military will have PLENTY of guns, so the peasants don't need to have them
    5. Being defenseless is the only way that mothers can demonstrate their love for their children
    6. All of the above

It's Amazing What One Has To Believe ... To Believe In Gun Control

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