TODAY'S ELECTRONIC CIVICS LESSON By Claire Wolfe and Charles Curley

We at SacredBull believe wholeheartedly in good citizenship and participatory democracy. Our motto is: The teachings of civics class are eternal. They are as true today as they were when you learned them at your teacher's knee!

Your leaders are always there to serve you, if you just let them. So if you want to change the world, the very, very best way is to ask politely -- the SacredBull way.

To help you contact those great people who work so hard to assure your freedom, here are the e-mail addresses of many of your most prominent and courageous leaders. In this list you'll find people in government and in the many, many, many fine organizations that work hand-in-hand with government to help make a better life for all Americans-including YOU!

Please write to them. Tell them what a good job they're doing, and ask them nicely for all the new laws you want. After all, that's what America's all about! --

• 
  Hillary Clinton incharge@whitehouse.gov
  Bill Clinton auction@whitehouse.gov
  Al Gore treehugger@tobacco_lobby.gov
  Tipper Gore uptight@lyrics.org
  Newt Gingrich ethics@newtered.gov
  Republican National Committee invertebrates@slowdemocrat.org
  Democratic National Committee pander@slowsocialist.org
  Janet Reno (work) butch@murder.gov
  Janet Reno (home) penisenvy@whipme.com
  Donna Shalala
  shillelagh@good_for_you.gov
  Bruce Babbitt grabit@land.gov
  Dick Gephardt cheerleader@big.gov
  Dick Morris dick@large.com

• Ted Kennedy (work) leftover@dynasty.gov
  Ted Kennedy (home) scuba_driver@bridge.com
  Dianne Feinstein gun_toter@gunbanner.gov
  Charles Schumer sauron@mordor.gov
  John Huang I_spy@dnc.org
  Sarah Brady lobbyist@cia.org
  ATF obey@orelse.gov
  IRS ours@yours.gov
  FBI coverup@waco.gov
  Lon Horiuchi babylove@eagle_eye.com
• National Rifle Association w_lapierre@compromise.org
  CBS damn_blather@newsless.com
  Morris Dees fundraiser@hatespeech.org
  Marion Barry cokehead@bankrupt.gov
  Colin Powell player@world.gov
• In addition, the following e-mail addresses have recently been changed:
  Deng Chou Peng deng@ancestors.com
  Ron Brown oops@bosnia.com
  Vince Foster vfoster@kevorkian.com
  Jack Kevorkian kevorkian@grateful_dead.com
  Jerry Garcia jgarcia@grateful_dead.com
  Bob Dole sominex@yawn.com
  Theodore Kaczinski gorefan@slammer.com
  Susan McDougal lipsealed@slammer.com
  Jim McDougal chatterbox@slammer.com
  Richard Nixon atlast@hell.org

Please also note that the fine people currently at unitednations.org will soon receive an exciting new domain name-unitednations.GOV! We'll keep you posted when that happens. Or you can just watch for the attractive blue berets to begin appearing in YOUR neighborhood.

Finally, we have been trying to reach the following individual for some time now and have unfortunately had nothing but a series of bounced messages. If any of you civic minded citizens out there can tell us how to reach this fellow, we sure would appreciate it:

Thomas Jefferson revolution@saveus.com

Thank you! We hope you found today's civics lesson very, very useful. And please don't forget to notify us if you locate that Jefferson fellow! We think he could really be of help with our _next_ terrific civics lesson!

This essay originally appeared on SacredBull, an Internet list dedicated to political satire. To subscribe, send mail to: majordomo@nighthawk.reichel.net with 'subscribe sacredbull' in the message body.

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