Hey there ! Don't think I don't appreciate you coming around, but you should really get yourself over to the all new Chiltern Hunt Sabs Site it's a lot better than this 7 year out of date rubbish !

Why Hunting Should NEVER Be Banned

Welcome to Hertfordshire Constabulary who have passed their appreciation of this particular page on to me. Might I say it was a pleasure to talk to you on Saturday and I'm glad you like the site - however I wish you would take note of some of the points raised. As for any other police forces visiting, please join the debate if you so feel - especially the gung ho Thames Valley - see you next season lads

Oooh Arr, you townies. Evil farmer Dooog here. I fink my twisted twin bruvver Townie Scum Dooog has no doubt been telling you his lies about how hunting's cruel and the fox don't enjoy it. Well if ee didn't enjoy it then ee wouldn't take part there would he. Those bloody saboteurs people don't know what they're doing at all. They piss me off so much, I ran my twin off the road in my tractor. No - that wasn't dangerous driving at all - after all foxes kill babies, so anyone trying to stop foxes being killed obviously supports killing babies so deserves to get run off the road. Ooo Arr Well let me tell ee, I'm not standing for it anymore. I'm gonna tell you why we should never see hunting banned.

You see the thing is that hunting isn't a hobby, it's a way of life. Not for me - I just enjoy seeing animals ripped to pieces (or more usually watching a load of pillocks riding around and never getting to see the blood and guts) because I'm a blood junky. But Alan Hill who you can see on the right does this for a living - and he always gets to see the blood - lucky git. If hunting was banned, he would lose his job (unless we changed to drag hunting of course - but we couldn't possibly admit that we could do that) and he's so stupid that he wouldn't be able to train as anything else. And he'd have to shoot all his dogs (rather than the fifth or so he shoots anyway because they've got to the ripe old age of 6 or 7), and his family, and errrr.... every baby in the countryside. So you can see why we must never ban hunting.

And as for the so called protestors - just take a look at them. They're all uneducated, unemployed lay abouts who don't care about animals in the first place. All of them eat raw meat every day, usually human flesh and want to shoot anyone who has a pet. And as for their dress sense, well just look at them. They say we look stupid in riding pink or in our yokel farmer gear, but take a look at that on your left. I mean, there's no co-ordination - green and blue, dinner lady uniforms - no style at all. Not like me in my Versace overalls.

Sorry to interupt you Farmer Dooog, Margaret Thatcher here. I couldn't agree more. These people know nothing about the countryside and even less about fashion. That's why I've always cared about my appearance and made it my government's duty to protect hunting while we were still in power. I'm very pleased that that nasty, slimy Mr Blair seems to have taken the basic tenets of Tory policy on board: market economy, cutting benefits, killing the NHS and protecting bloodsports. You may continue Farmer Dooog

Thank you, your majesty - what a fine woman. Anyway - as I was saying, these transvesite antics can't disguise the fact that it's only those who live in the countryside who can hold an opinion on it. You townies trying to tell us what to do with our bloodlust woul dbe lik eme telling a rapist that he's doing something wrong. I don't rape people (apart from my sister, but that's a family tradition) so I don't hold an opinion on it and that's the way it should be. As you can clearly see - these so called saboteurs are nothing more than balaclava clad pickaxe handle wielding thugs intent on destruction and rape of country life. They care nothing for the animals and are not prepared to enter into a debate or be filmed by ITN for the news or talk to the huntsman or act in a civil fashion. Oh well, apart from the tall skinhead in the blue dress, oh and that golden haired siren on the left. Well OK, but they probably put the balaclavas back on afterwards and then started a fight with a small child - or something.

You see they're waging a PR war, which the Countryside Alliance would never do. Next thing they'll be releasing a crap single and forcing everyone to buy it and then when it does really badly in the charts (Number 33 perhaps) they'll come out with some lame excuse about how despite forcing every bumpkin at cattle-prod point into their local Our Price (after checking it's chart registered of course) they still couldn't buy the single because Our Price wouldn't stock it - because it's shit

Now that's more like it. The lovely boys in blue. I love the policing of the hunts, me. Did you know that the Criminal Justice Act contains two clauses specifically to deal with Hunt Saboteurs. Section 68 and 69 dealing with aggrevated trespass were introduced after increasing violence at hunts, which just happened to coincide with the introduction of 'stewards' - i.e. me and my inbred mates beating shit out of animal rights protestors. Ahhh, democracy - what a wonderful thing it is - so long as a majority isn't trying to impose their sick views about animal welfare on a small but very rich minority who enjoy chasing and torturing wild animals. Oh yeah, did I mention that most of the police attending a hunt are mates of the hunters, and regularly attend meets as supporters when they're off duty. You see policing a hunt is a delicate job requiring diplomacy and tact and even handedness - which is why the pigs always send hunt scum with tits on their heads to do it. OK, so the law is unworkable in practise and very few charges have ever stuck - but they give out a lot of producers for minor traffic infringements .....

.... like blocking roads. Here you see two vehicles of country sports enthusiasts parked safely just round a bend on a narrow country lane. Clearly any traffic trying to pass would just be an impatient townie who doesn't understand the ways of the country, and therefore dererves to wait. It would never be an ambulance on it's way to an emergency on the farm - because serious accidents don't occur round heavy machinery. If these were 'anti' vehicles they should be towed away and never be given back of course - becuase these antis don't know what they're talking about. Coming out of the big cities and blocking our roads. LISTEN TO US that's what I say.

Of course we don't always block the roads with vehicles - we can use horses as well. Riding five abreast in blatant disregard for the law is always an option - because our kind of people don't need laws - we know how to behave, we can ride and drive our way across the country of ours, blasting at anything that moves, setting packs of baying hounds on anything that runs for cover and continuing the rape and pillage of everyone's inheritance - the land. The law is for those of you who don't have the power and the influence to buy your own private police force with taxpayer's money. We will control you with laws that we will break. That's modern Britain and we are the 'Guardians of the Land'.

Disclaimer: Hey guys chill out - it's a gag right. OK, so following this season I would concur that a fair number of the police sent out on a hunt do not support it. I have had the pleasant experience this year of a couple of lifts in a police landrover (not being arrested - but being given a lift back to vehicle at the end of a long day). Thankyou. Also, arrests have been few and far between and no charges have been upheld. However - the facts are still there - off duty police officers, policing a hunt one week have been spotted at the meet in 'civvies' another week. Also the week when the only two arrests of the season took place in cubbing '98, the officers had a number of hours chatting/plotting with the hunt before the off (they were held up by extremely misty conditions), then when they did start off - it was clearly a setup with the hunt riding directly into the area of country most remote from any roads and then sending in the (until then absent) police on foot and in a helicopter. Your defence that this is due to Roderick's treatment at the hands of a group of saboteurs that he was trying to attack is laughable - and the accusation that we somehow pointed him out to the Hunt Retribution Squad is equally insane. Roderick Wilson has a history of violence towards antis, both threatened and real, and this time picked on some people who did not let him get away with it. As has already been stated several times in the press, we had no involvement in that affair - let we quote from the Countryside Alliance Press Release on the matter 'Janet George, Chief Press Officer from the Countryside Alliance, said "The regular Vale of Aylesbury saboteurs dissappeared when this lot turned up.".
Also I'm not trying to suggest that all farmers are ignorant blood junkies. In fact the facts speak for themselves. The majority of people who live and work in the countryside want a ban on hunting and have as much contempt for the Countryside Alliance as I do. The concerns of the county are no different from the concerns of the town: education, housing, safety etc BUT the Countyside Alliance would have you beleive otherwise. This page is meant to highlight how ridulous their claims and allegation are in the light of the actual facts. The CA is being torn to pieces (hurrah) Janet (the Hut) George has left claiming the CA are unfit to rule in the countryside (and for once I agree), and the changes in personnel at the top are more frequent than me changing my underpants (hey once a month IS hygenic). In addition they have been exposed as being behind green belt development (Hanbury Tennison family business), taking donations from developers such as McAlpines and hiding their class bias to the extent that George Bowyer (singer of lamentable non-hit Guardians of the Land), far from being a rugged, earthy, country boy of humble but proud stock - is actually the son of a lord. Let's make the welfare of the countryside a real issue and stop hiding behind the pro-bloodsports lies that currently seep from the CA. I was born in a rural area and I love the countryside as much as any hunt scum. the vilification of the sabs must stop - don't beleive the hype.

Chineapple Palace

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