Top 11 Reasons Why Mark Messier Signed With The Canucks
Top Ten Signs You're Dating a Hockey Player
Top Ten Reasons Hockey Is Better Than Sex
Top Ten Ways to Make Hockey More Exciting

Top 11 Reasons Why Mark Messier Signed With The Canucks
11.After watching Pavel Bure and Alexander Mogilny for the last few seasons, he knew the 'Nucks don't expect much for big money.
10.Didn't want to miss out on that great all-expense-paid trip to Japan.
9.Affordable housing!
8.He'd rather bump heads six times a year with Anaheim and Paul Kariya than with Philadelphia and Eric Lindros.
7.It never rains in the Pacific Northwest.
6.Cab drivers in Vancouver are much more polite than the ones in New York.
5.Wanted to get close to Seattle so he can get plenty of that Starbucks coffee and keep up his intensity.
4.Who wouldn't rather play with Dave Babych than with Brian Leetch?
3.Knows it will be easy to get Tom Renney fired.
2.Thought he might be able to find a good barber.
1.Trying to get as far away from Madonna as he can.
Top Ten Signs You're Dating a Hockey Player
10.Eating the last Fig Newton gets you bodychecked into the fridge.
9.He's very sensitive on the topic of "stick curvature."
8.After going out, makes you line up and shake hands with all his ex-girlfriends.
7.Bad enough he consummates lovemaking by shouting, "He scores!"-- was it really necessary to install the red light above the bed?
6.During arguments he sends you to the penalty box for "2 minutes for pissing me off."
5.He refuses to valet park the Zamboni.
4.For breakfast, he hands each kid a spoon and tosses an Eggo in the middle of the table.
3.Demanded credit for an assist when you slept with his best friend.
2.Favorite Restaurant: Dinner in a Blender
1.Talks funny and likes to beat up people, but doesn't come from Alabama.
Top Ten Reasons Hockey Is Better Than Sex
10.It's legal to play hockey professionally.
9.The puck is always hard.
8.The protective equipment is reusable and you don't even have to wash it.
7.It lasts a full hour.
6.You know you're finished when the horn goes off.
5.Your parents cheer when you score.
4.A two-on-one or three-on-one is not uncommon.
3.Periods last only 20 minutes.
2.You can count on it at least twice a week.
1.You can tell all of your friends about it afterward.
Top Ten Ways to Make Hockey More Exciting
10.During playoffs, players dress up as their favorite Ice Capades character.
9.Canadians must play in bare feet.
8.All penalties must be served sitting next to that guy who played "Doc" on "The Love Boat".
7.Just barely visible under ice: frozen body of Walt Disney.
6.If the zamboni drops below 50mph it blows up.
5."Your New Jersey Devils starting goalie -- Miss Katharine Hepburn".
4.New snack bar item: players' missing teeth dipped in fudge.
3.Try hot griddle surface instead of ice.
2.Only guys named Stanley get to wear a cup.
1.One word: BLINDFOLDS.