This will sound harsh, but it's the truth and I'll put right out in the open to start, YOUR CHILD WILL NOT BE A PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE! Any parent that is looking at his or her child and seeing a mega-buck salary in their future, as professional athlete, you may be sadly mistaken.
As a parent if you find that you are saying to yourself, "My kids going to the big leagues", or "My son is the best kid in the league he will definitely be a pro some day, " for you parents all I can say is you are part of the problem not part of the solution. Although your child may be special now, kids change as they get older. The smallest kid on the team today as a seven or eight-year-old may be the biggest kid when he is in high school, and the reverse is also true. A child who's skills are advanced for his young years may never improve as he gets older, and has to deal with growth spurts and the awkwardness that is associated with it.
Some basic facts: 1. An athlete does not mature till high school age. 2. A professional Athlete cannot be made, they are born. 3. Majority of kids that have advanced skills at a young age will not be the best players when they get older. 4. Size means nothing. If your child is big at six or seven years old, 99% of the time the others will catch up as they get older and he will not always be the biggest kid. 5. For every kid that excels at a young age, there are 1000's more just like them. Just because you don't see those 1000's playing, they are out there, count on it. 6. No matter where your kid plays if he is good enough when he gets old the scouts will find him - COUNT ON IT. You don't have to play baseball in a warm climate to be a good baseball player. You don't have to be from Canada to be a good hockey player. 7. Even though they keep score, it isn't who wins that counts. Championships at a young age don't mean anything. A child will learn how to be a winner in his life by what he sees at home, not winning a city championship in little leagues. 8. Most young kids will forget the score of the game win or lose, as soon as it's over. Kids that dwell on the score after the game, do so because, you the parent does. Kids are more interested in who's going for pizza after the game, then taking extra batting practice because he struck out in the game. 9. Let the coaches coach. If you want your child to see less game time, the best way to bring it about, is to tell them," don't listen to the coach he doesn't know what he is doing."
A Little story to prove the point: I have had many meetings with a gentleman who is the area scout for a major league franchise. He has signed some players and scouted players such as Jeff Bagwell and Scott Burell (who, many people felt, was a better baseball player then a basketball player). I had seen him after I saw a little league game in our town I said to him, "You have to see this kid that I saw at the little league fields today. This kid threw heat, harder than most of the 12 year olds and he is only eight. His response was talk to me in ten years. We then went to a neighboring town and stopped at one of their field, he points to kid in the outfield and says, "watch this kid throw, he's only eight years old too." The child he pointed at threw hard then the one I saw earlier.
He then explained, "For every kid you see like that there are 200-300 kids just like him in new England alone. Now multiply that by the rest of the country, Latin America, Mexico and Canada. Now how special is he."
A professional athlete has a gift. You can teach the basics, you can give a child all the tools, but what a child builds with these tools is up to them no matter what you do. As a coach of youth teams for children between the ages of five to 12 years of age and a parent of a youth athlete, I can speak from both sides of the bench. The mistakes I have made as a parent are many, and I have learned so much from them. One of my biggest mistakes was pushing my child to succeed at a young age. A friend of mine said to me, "He will be a good player in spite of you, so why don't you leave him alone." He was absolutely correct. From that day on there are two things I say to my son before every game, I tell him, "Good Luck and do your best for today", and after the game I ask, "Did you have FUN!!!!. Since the day I started this ritual he has excelled, on his own. I am not saying, don't help them if they want to be helped, just don't force it on them. I'm not saying, don't go outside and throw the ball together, as a father there is nothing better. What I am saying is, let them enjoy their childhood let them be a kid. The worse thing a coach can hear on a bench is, " will you go in the stands and tell my dad to "shut up", he is embarrassing me." That situation has happened on my bench and I can assure you it wont happen again.
All of the joy that a child gets from youth sports, is usually outweighed by the unnecessary pressure that they have to go through. I am going to assume that the people who are reading this will say to yourself, "this is not about me because I encourage my child to have fun." I suggest you replay some of your child's games back in you mind, because we have all fallen into what hockey people call the ‘Wayne Gretzky Syndrome'. Think back to your child's games and how many times have you said things like, "Don't worry Billy you played well. If Johnny had only thrown the ball to the right base you would have won", sound familiar? Now, you may or may not have meant this as a negative statement, but, I will promise you the first thing Billy is going to say to Johnny the next time he sees him is, "You made us lose the game yesterday." Young children see things through a different set of eyes than you and I. You see it as no big deal - professional players make errors - but your child will see it differently.
The last statement I will make is, Enjoy your child while you can they grow up faster than you think. Once their youth is gone, you can't go back and fix the mistakes later on. They will grow up whether you want them to or not, you can't stop it. Don't say later on, "I wish I had done this differently", because wishes don't come true. Steer your child in a direction that will put them on track to be honest, and a good person for the future.
About me: Steven M. Tufano I have coached at all levels of youth hockey and baseball, including the select level. State director 6-8 year old level USA Hockey. All-star coach Little League Baseball.
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