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Jokes 
Jokes 1-5
Joke #1Jon: "There was a man here to see you this morning."
Paul: "Did he have a bill?"
Jon: "No-just a regular nose."
Joke #2
Matt: "What would you do if you were carried out to sea on an iceberg?"
Don: "Keep cool until rescued."
Joke #3
Mom: "Joe, where are you going?"
Joe: "Outside to water the plants."
Mom: "But it's raining outside."
Joe: "That's OK-I'm wearing my raincoat."
Joke #4
1st Customer: "Excuse me, are you Jason Dodd?"
2nd Customer: "No, I'm not. Why?"
1st Customer: "Well, I am, and that's his coat you're putting on."
Joke #5
Marie: "I had a terrible dream last night."
Jess: "Tell me about it."
Marie: "I dreamed that I ate a 100 pound marshmallow."
Jess: "What's so bad about that?"
Marie: "When I woke up, my pillow was gone."
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Jokes 6-10
Joke # 6
Mike: "Why are you eating dinner on the corner of the street?"
Pat: "My doctor said to curb my appetite."
Joke # 7
Son: "Mom, are you going to be on the six o'clock news tomorrow?"
Mom: "Yes, I am."
Son: "Great! What time does it start?".
Joke # 8
A little boy saw a crowd of people and walked over. "Did anybody here lose a roll of dollar bills with rubber band around it?" he asked them. Everyone told him they had. "Good," said the boy. "I found the rubber band."
Joke # 9
Boy: "Are you milking the cow in your new hat?"
Girl: "Of course not. I'm using a pail
Joke # 10
Camper: "There's a hugh leak over my bunk!"
Counselor: "That's what we told you in the ads."
Camper: "What?"
Counselor: "Running water in each cabin."
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Jokes 11-15
Joke # 11
Mark: "At the aquarium, I saw a dogfish that was part colie."
April: Why do you think that?"
Mark: "I saw it chase a sea horse into the coral."
Joke # 12
Sara fell and broke her arm. The doctor put it in a sling. "Will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals?" Sara asked. "Sure you will," the doctor replied. "That's amazing!" said Sara, I've never taken a piano lesson in my life!"
Joke # 13
A car filled with tourist drove by two bears at Yellowstone National Park. The bear turned to look at the car. "What a shame," said one bear to the other "I think it's awful to keep people caged up like that."
Joke # 14
Mary: "Peanuts are fattening."
Carol: "How do you know?"
Mary: "Did you ever see a skinny elephant?"
Joke # 15
Julie: "How do you get a frog out of the back window of your car?"
Mike: "I don't know. How?
Julie: "You just use the rear defrogger."
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Jokes # 16-20
Joke # 16
Sam: "You owe me 25 cents for that honey."
Pam: "What honey?"
Sam: "I never knew you cared."
Joke # 17
Jimmy: "Mom, the the other kids always tease me and say I'm a werewolf."
Mom: "Such nonsense! Now go comb your face and get ready for supper."
Joke # 18
Chris: "Dad, could you help me with my Math homework?"
Dad: "No, Chris, it wouldn't be right."
Chris: "That's OK, as long as you give it a try."
Joke # 19
Jeriah: "The kids at school laughed at me today. They said I chewed up my dollar."
Mom: "Why?"
Son: "Because it was my lunch money."
Joke # 20
Dad: "What time is it?"
Jane: "I don't know."
Dad: "Well, what does your clock say?"
Jane; "Tick-tock, tick-tock."
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Jokes 21-25
Joke # 21
One day a man was lost in the hills of Kentucky. He stopped and ask a young boy in a field, "How do you get to Louisville?" The boy replied, "My grandpa takes me!"
Joke # 22
Customer: "May I have a hamburger without mustard?"
Waiter: "Sorry, were all out of mustard. But I can give you a hamburger without ketchup."
Joke # 23
Girl: "One ticket please."
Movie ticket seller: "That's the third ticket you've bought in the last five minutes. Why?"
Girl: "The man inside keeps tearing them up!"
Joke # 24
Joe: "I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm."
Ann: "Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?"
Joe: "Yes, but I'd look a lot sillier milking a bicycle."
Joke # 25
Jeff: "My dog hides under the bed when it's bath night."
Matt: "What's wrong with that?"
Jeff: "There isn't room for me."
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